Previously on Weavers! In The Morning, Weavers All Through The Night: In Costa Rica, Tony Paolo almost drowned, and DJ couldn't believe his old man would be so selfish as to allow his lungs to fill with water when the family was trying to get somewhere. Parents are so embarrassing. Mama Paolo hoped aloud that DJ wouldn't get married, and somewhere, his putative wife caught her breath hopefully and didn't know why. The race headed to the sweltering landscape of Arizona, where teams explored the distinctive local culture in the form of a traditional go-kart track, just like the ones they used in the olden days. The weird little Roadblock pitted Mama Weaver against Tommy "Bone" Linz, making the whole thing into...well, not so much a clash of the sublime and the ridiculous as something far greater: a clash of two different varieties of ridiculous. The Bransens were non-eliminated, and then the families all executed a Roadblock that managed to be quite boring in spite of involving both the flouting of gravity and the possibility of airborne vomiting. The Weaver girls showed their class and sophistication by throwing trash out of a car window at the Godlewskis and keeping their pinkies in the air the whole time. At the Detour, the Linzes excelled while the Paolos bailed their boat in vain. The Linzes found themselves aced out of the win by the Gadzookskis, and ultimately, DJ, Mama Paolo, and the entire Harangue Gang were bounced from the game and went back to their regularly scheduled arguing and squawking and garbage collecting. Unfortunately, their Philimination was not the perfect outcome, because the Weavers were ramping up their awfulness to the point where I would rather be kissed on the mouth by DJ Paolo with tongue than sit through a massage and pedicure with Rachel Weaver. Also, Nick asked to be called "Alex," and vice-versa.
Credits. In the Sequesterville of my imagination, the Rogers family was made to sit in that boat for the remainder of the race after they were eliminated. I like the idea of Brock being all, "Oh...I don't know, Dad, you can do the rowing. I wouldn't want to go the wrong direction or anything. You know how I can sometimes go the wrong direction. Oh, wait – that was you! My bad!" And then Brock would sneak a cigarette and listen to something really bad-ass on his iPod, like Nickelback. (Brittney, you just know, would be listening to Carrie Underwood singing "Jesus, Take The Wheel.") (Which, incidentally, I am assuming is being marketed ironically, in the tradition of tragic Shangri-Las classics like "Give Us Your Blessings" and "Past, Present, and Future," because otherwise, it kind of makes me cry, and not for the intended reasons.) [BOMP.]