Amazing Race

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M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
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The Couch Trip

Gary finishes the Road Block, so they're off to the Pit Stop in last place. "Isn't that the family from The Sound of Music?" Mallory asks.

Jet and Cord find themselves right behind Kisha and Jen on the driveway to the villa, but aren't able to catch up before the sisters get inside and reach the mat, so they're four and five respectively with Kisha and Jen seconds ahead. "You've been racing so hard your cowboy hat is dirty," Phil observes to Cord. Indeed, it looks like some soot transferred from his hand to the brim of his light-colored hat. This is why I said Jet should have done this Road Block; his hat's already black, so it wouldn't have shown. Cord says he'll get a new one after he wins the money, which is pretty big talk coming from a member of the second-to last team. Phil says as much: "These guys whooped your ass today, by at least three seconds." Cord admits, "It's time to step it up, or we're gonna have to go home." What, after they came in second their first time on the race? But look at the other second-place teams who came back, and -- oh, we can't because they're gone.

Finally, Gary and Mallory walk into the room, and Phil gravely tells them, "Gary and Mallory, you are the last team to arrive." And since this isn't a Pit Keep Going, it doesn't look good for them. Will their second leg eight in a row be their undoing? Sure enough, Phil continues, "I'm sorry to tell you that...that's put you at the back of the pack. But not out of the race. This is a non-elimination leg." Whoa, see what he did there? Mallory's so happy she doesn't even care about the Speed Bump coming up in the next leg. She interviews, "To have a third chance at this? It's the biggest blessing ever, in the world." Jesus is like, "No, it isn't. Jeez, I do something nice for you without being asked and look what you do." Then she dorks to Phil, "Third time's a charm!" Her interview continues, "When you get something that big, you've gotta do something with it, so...now we gotta win it. I got faith."

Jesus: "Yes, I've noticed that about you."

And what, Phil wasn't available to record the voice-over for next week's preview? Probably too busy shooting dashboard video.

M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at M.Giant[at]gmail.com.

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Amazing Race

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