Amazing Race
I Carried a Watermelon

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All About the Melons

Which seems dark and quiet as church bells toll a late hour. Have the dancers and musicians and broken glass-sweepers all gone home? Not, it's still on. Elliot and Andrew find the clue box. Elliot is taking this one and we see him attempting what is clearly not his first bottle, because he's already wet. In their cab to the Roadblock, Ralph says they don't think anybody took longer than they did. "I'm pretty sure we're dead last." Elliot drenches himself again, and Andrew yells from the sidelines to get his balance before attempting any steps. Still in the cab, Vanessa vows that if they're going to "finish dirty and disgusting and take hours to do so, fine -- but we're gonna finish." Unlike some other teams in the past who might have already quit by this point, if not before. But then they arrive at the plaza and see the twins there, and suddenly it's not a death-slog to the end any more. Both teams thought they were just going to drag themselves to certain Philimination, but that can't be the case for both of them, can it? Their combined shock triggers a smash-cut to black so dramatic I expect a "to be continued."

But no, it was just the last commercial break. "Your head's harder than mine," Vanessa tells Ralph. He goes out and joins Elliot and soon the two large tattooed men are breaking bottles on their heads side by side. Elliot seems to be closing in on the finish, but his bottle falls just as he's trying to stretch out on the ground. And the next time too, as Vanessa marvels that Ralph's doing it as if she can't believe it herself. Sure enough, Ralph finishes and as he gets his clue, he snatches up the tiny little lead dancer in a big bear-hug. He rejoins Vanessa and gets a big kiss from her before they leave for the Pit Stop. But their lead isn't a wide one; as they run down the street, Elliot finishes. So even though the twins are in last place, they're only a block behind Ralph and Vanessa on a six-block run and the twins seem to be running a lot faster. Ralph tries to hurry Vanessa along, but she says she's going to throw up. The downside of being the Tiny in a Huge-Tiny team. Soon both teams spot the mat, and Vanessa literally crawls to it. Once she's on her feet, Phil addresses them while Vanessa looks behind them for the approaching twins and tells them they're team number eight. "Just staying in the race," Phil tells them, which is kind of a giveaway that this isn't going to be non-elimination. Sure enough, when a very sweaty Elliot and Andrew make it to the mat, they are Philiminated. They commemorate the moment by attempting to high-five and missing. That's their problem in a nutshell. But thanks, boys, for thoroughly debunking the myth that twins have some preternatural, telepathic connection with each other that the rest of us can never hope to understand. They wish good luck to Ralph and Vanessa, who have dialed back their celebratory mood quite a bit. Andrew admits that he's devastated and Elliot feels like he let his brother down. "No you didn't," Andrew quickly insists. He says they'll look back on it and laugh, and he interviews that it's been tough but amazing. "We both like to have our way and that definitely showed and we're just gonna take out this whole experience and remember it. Not that many people have a chance to do this and it was ours." And then they jog away from the mat, either because they're less exhausted than I thought or because they want to get away from this embarrassing scene as quickly as possible.

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Amazing Race

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