Amazing Race
I Could Never Have Been Prepared For What I'm Looking At Right Now

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Societal fabric softener

As the boys get going to the pit stop, Reichen voices over that although he's enjoyed the friendliness with Team Who, they're also big competition, as they're both competitive, confident pairs of guys. Both of these teams get cabs, and both of them take off, and now it's a race for first place. Everybody takes shots at bribing and cajoling their cab drivers, and it of course makes you wonder why they're bothering fighting so hard over first place. I'm sure it's partly because they know there might be a cruise involved, but I also think it's not that mystifying if you've ever known boys who are really, really competitive. Because they will compete over anything, including the last graham cracker in the box, and every competition is deadly serious, and the idea of doing anything other than coming in first when coming in first is an option is a horrifying disappointment that requires you to plot revenge for the rest of your natural life. I mean, I'm sure they're racing for the cruise, but they're also racing because it's a race, if that makes sense, and guys like this get off on having somebody to beat.

BuffJon and Kelly arrive at the Roadblock, and unsurprisingly, he takes over for their team.

David, still bribing the driver. Team Who's driver seems to gain a slight advantage at one particular point by edging around a truck. "Floor it!" Jeff yells. There's the Gateway! Screeeeeech! There's the Who cab, with the Chipsters right on their heels. Team Who grabs their stuff out of the trunk and narrowly avoids being hit by a car that jolts to a stop about a foot away from them. Yeah, smooth one, there, guys. Who, running! Chipsters, running! Horn-heavy soundtrack! Phil and the greeter, waiting somberly on the mat! Birds scatter as Team Who rushes to the gate, and then David and Jeff go into a pack-laden dead sprint up the sidewalk. Chip is just behind them, but he's calling for Reichen, who seems to be a little behind, probably from paying the cabbie. "Reichen, come on!" Chip yells. Chipsters, running! Who, running! Chipsters, making a desperate tear in the direction of Phil, trying to close the gap. "Get up there!" Jeff yells as they race for the mat. Aaaaand as to the mat, Who's! On! First!

Man, between that scene and arriving at that punch line, I totally feel like I need a cigarette, don't you?

"Welcome to Mumbai," says the greeter. Phil welcomes Team Who to the mat as team number one, and awards them their seven-night cruise. I love how Phil always adds, "Which you can enjoy after the race," like they're going to get confused and go now. Welcome, Chipsters, you are team number two. They are glad, but they are also peeved about coming in second. Because they are boys.

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Amazing Race

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