Amazing Race
I Could Never Have Been Prepared For What I'm Looking At Right Now

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Miss Alli: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Societal fabric softener

The International Society of Clowns and Virgins is also looking for cabs. ClownJon demonstrates his nose-balancing skills with a pen for the driver, and the driver looks at least mildly amused. It's certainly the best reaction he's going to get during this particular episode, so he'd be wise to relish it. Elsewhere, Team Who is also grabbing a cab. David looks into the camera and says with perfectly dry perkiness, "We're going straight into the desert to be sacrificed." Officially, this remark is insensitive, but I will also admit that both when I saw it the first time and every time I saw it again while writing the recap, it made me laugh out loud. The delivery is positively sublime, really. And, you know, believe it or not, there are people who deal with stressful situations using arguably inappropriate humor. (I know. I was shocked, too.) And frankly, if he's funny, then he's been holding out on me.

Tian is feeling more chipper about the chaos. She says she loves it, because she's never seen anything like it. "It smells different, it sounds different..." "Oh, it smells different," Jaree says emphatically. "That's for sure." The cabs skitter through the streets, and then we are at Bollywood, arriving with the Chipsters. They get to the clue box and pull the clue, which tells them to grab a bike and make their way to Studio 10, where they'll search a soundstage to find the next clue. Hours of operation? 9:30 AM to 4:30 PM. Dun dun duuuun! "So we're here for nine hours," Chip observes, a slave to the bunching. They decide to take their space blankets and sleep outside.

The Falconette cab is experiencing some tension. "A little scary," Monica comments. Hey, look, an elephant! Elephants are cool.

"We ain't in Jersey anymore, Kel," says BuffJon over in The Cab Of Being Fulfilled Weekly. "We're not in Texas, either," she agrees with a smile. Tian, on the other hand, is just enjoying the ride. "I'm very excited to see how the city looks," she comments. To me, it looks like it has a super-lot of people in it, is how it looks. To Chuck, it looks like a 1950s horror movie about nuclear fallout. "I just saw the biggest rat I think I've ever seen in my entire life," he remarks. "It looked like a cat." Ew. Millie chuckles. ["As does Sars, having seen that rat or one of its siblings herself at the Broadway/Lafayette subway stop." -- Sars]

At the Bollywood gate, the Falconettes are the next to arrive. "Go to the box, babies," Chip (I think) greets them. BuffJon and Kelly are next, and Kelly remarks that "this is tough." With a honk, Millie and Chuck's taxi pulls up, as Kelly surveys the sleeping-outside situation and remarks that "if the Supremes can do it, [she] can do it." Team Who and the clowns follow. Bringing up the rear are Tian and Jaree. Jaree and Chip share a hug and kiss. "Hey, pumpkin," she says to him. Hee. I believe it's Team Who providing the voice-over explaining that the teams all just lay down together in a big communal heap outside the gate. "The calm before the storm, so to speak." Actually, they're getting so dirty at this point that it looks more like the calm before the outdoor folk festival, but whatever.

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Amazing Race

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