Amazing Race
I Covered His Mouth, Oh My Gosh!

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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What A Croc

2:53 AM. Lyn and Karlyn. Lyn explains that this is really the first time the two of them have spent this kind of 24-hour face-to-face time together. The underlying attitude doesn't exactly seem to be, "And I can't believe how much fun it is!" Indeed, Karlyn explicitly adds, "I'm sick of looking at her." It's only the fifth leg! Hate your partner in the final leg! You might still have to drag her ass around and pay the locals to paddle a boat for her! (But I kid Flo.)

3:46 AM. Dustin and Kandice. (Look at that long, long gap. They were very far behind.) Kandice says that it's "do or die" for the BQs now, because they're in last place and need to really be on top of their game. She says that there will be no allowing other people to get in front of them because they aren't "aggressive enough." That's exactly the way she got to Miss America. Just ask all the girls who "mysteriously" wound up with food coloring in their toothpaste. In the cab, Dustin says she hopes that the first train won't leave till morning, which would allow them to catch up with the rest of the teams.

At the train station, Rob and Kimberly arrive first, and they are quickly followed by Peter and Sarah. Then Tyler and James, the *wins, Dave and Mary, the *lyns... it's a party! Party at the train station! Fashion show at lunch! And then Dustin and Kandice get there, and they are very happy to see that the other teams are all hanging around. Nobody else acts happy to see the BQs at all. Whether that is because they aren't well-liked or because it means everyone is tied really remains to be seen.

At 5:00 AM, everyone catches a train to Hanoi. The train offers another opportunity for Tyler to reflect upon the scourge of addiction, because it turns out that they just saw some guys "shootin' dope" as they were leaving. "It brings back a gruesome truth for James and I," he says. "It's not a fun place to be, sitting in an alley shooting heroin," James adds, in a way that looks a little... I don't know, glib or something. I'm used to seeing addicts reflect with a little less smirking. "I remember those days," Tyler agrees. He goes on to explain in an interview that his father died when he was 15, and that fueled the addiction for him. He explains how drugs numb pain, and I feel like I'm a little old for this particular remedial class, but I know it's well-meant, so whatever. The more I know, I guess.

Now we spend some time with the *wins and *lyns, as Erwin explains that they, plus Dave and Mary, are all sharing information and helping each other. Along these lines, Godwin goes to Mary and shows her on a map which travel agencies they're planning on going to in which order. Shortly thereafter, Peter tells Sarah that he's going to the bathroom. A likely story! As he passes the *wins and *lyns, he mutters that he can tell them where the closest travel agency is to the train station, but then he just keeps walking. I have no idea what that's supposed to accomplish, since I doubt he actually has a to-do list with "Make self look like huge asshole" on it, despite the frequency with which it seems that way. Peter's next stop is with Dustin and Kandice, to whom he explains that this other group is cooperating and sharing maps -- in fact, he even thinks they're sharing money. The BQs say they don't even have a map, so Peter says that he'll share a map with them if they'll remember it "down the road." Whatever that means. He leaves. It seems that this hasn't been any sort of alliance up until now, because Dustin doesn't understand why Peter is doing this. Kandice offers, "Because he likes you." I'm not sure Peter likes anything. I'm not sure Peter feels anything. I'm not sure Peter isn't made of marzipan. "We're going to take it on a case-by-case basis with Peter," Dustin says, and for some reason, it makes me laugh a little. I only wish Sarah had been half as skeptical. Seven years she's known this guy. Seven years. He has yet to even reach "pleasant" for one moment of the entire race, which puts him acres and acres behind luminaries such as Flo herself as far as trying to figure out why anyone would be friends with him ever, let alone date him. Doesn't Sarah have friends? Don't they like her? Don't they know what an intervention is?

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Amazing Race

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