Amazing Race
I Didn't Make Her Cry

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: C | Grade It Now!
The Gloves Come Off

Art and JJ make it to the village, but the shaking of the bikes has them in a condition that has Art saying, "I'm glad I had all my kids already." There are a group of villagers waiting for them, with their help the Border Patrol agents are soon draped in the local togas over their clothes and strapped-on torso mics. Team Big Brother is right behind them. "Thank you for allowing us to be part of your culture," Brendon dorks to the guy dressing him up. Funny, he never thanked my culture for that. At the marksmanship range, Art and JJ soon see what's up and start throwing clubs. JJ gets pissed at not being able to hit his target right away, what with being the quarterback on his "semi-pro" law enforcement football team -- whatever that means -- but it takes him a few tries. But once he succeeds, he's at least free to coach Art, who seems a bit encumbered by what he calls his "Superman cape." There's a misnomer for you.

Team Big Brother runs to a fenced-in area where a large ring of locals are already singing and jumping. The tune they're performing is rather bluesy, which is a little surprising until you think about it for half a second. Brendon and Rachel join in on the leaping and Rachel says it's a blessing to be part of it. For her, she means. She also appreciates the height that the locals get without even the benefit of Air Jordans. Over at the Marksmanship range, Art is still throwing and missing while Brendon and Rachel, under the unsmiling eye of the chief, keep jumping until a horn sounds and they head over to collect their clues, now in first place. The clue tells them to direct their driver to a place called Simba Campsite.

Art and JJ see Team Big Brother already leaving on their bikes by the time Art breaks a target and they get their clue. "I just want to take it in a little bit," JJ says before boarding his bike. He takes it in for about five seconds. As an explanation for his poor marksmanship, Art says, "I'm better at shooting stuff."

Other Rachel and Dave are the next team to find the Masai-clist at the hilltop and get on their bikes. "We're biking in Tanzania!" Dave marvels. "This is scary as hell!" Other Rachel agrees. The two lead teams, meanwhile, are having trouble pedaling back up the hill. Turns out that's even harder than going down. Just as Dave and Other Rachel coast down by them, Dave yells, "Let's go, Rach, come on, cruise!" She tells him to stop yelling at him and he says, "I'm not! You're doing awesome! Don't misconstrue my support for yelling!" Gosh, why would she ever do that?"

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Amazing Race




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