Amazing Race
I Don't Kiss, I Make Out!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
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Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Go

The Independence Air flight prepares to leave. Linzes, Weavers, Schroeders, Godlewskis, Aiellos. Bransens and Gaghans catch the oh-so-critically two minutes behind US Air flight. Later, the Paolos look at a road atlas of South Carolina. DJ storms in and berates his parents for…looking at a map. It just makes no sense. When his mother asks him, fairly reasonably, to lower the attitude, DJ gets all snotty, going, "I just don't feel like getting yelled at like a two-year-old." Hey, genius? Don't want to get yelled at like a two-year-old? Don't act like one. God. "My family apparently has many mood swings," Brian observes. I think I do dislike and blame him the least, out of all these people. Which is nice, because he's not too old to be salvageable, which I would think he would work hard at, if only to avoid killing his dating life forever. DJ is nice enough to say in an interview that if his mother weren't his mother, she'd be his worst enemy. So apparently, she's getting treated extra-nicely because they're related. I suppose if they weren't, he would actually throw trash or something. On the plane, DJ bitches about her some more.

Back from commercials, we are in Charleston, home of…an airport! Teams deplane, looking for the Battery containing the gazebo they need. The Linzes refer to the Weavers as "Team Froot Loop," which is as close as they've gotten to wit, I suppose, and one of them remarks, "I'm not a big fan of her." Yeah, join the club. Not the most lively of remarks, but maybe if she were farting.

The US Air flight lands. Gaghans and Bransens are off.

In Charleston, the Schroeders, Weavers, and Linzes find the clue box. Schroeders are first to pull it, and it's this week's Detour. The choices are described as "Forrest Gump" and "Muddy Waters," but you shall know them as Shrimp and Mud. In Shrimp, you drive seven miles to a seafood company, then they take you out on a boat. There, you take the heads off of 200 pounds of shrimp with your hands, and you're done. Except, of course, that you will see shrimp every time you close your eyes for the next two weeks. In Mud, you drive 37 miles to a place where you take a truck on a mud run. To get your clue, you have to get all the way around the course, round-trip. The Weavers pick the mud, while the Schroeders and Linzes take the shrimp.

The Paolos land. Elsewhere, the Aiellos and the pinks are the next to get the clue. The Aiellos take the mud, the girls take the shrimp. The Schroeders find their way onto the shrimp boat and receive a quick lesson in de-heading. It basically involves the fine art of pinching. (Oh, please, please, someone explain it more, I just can't keep up with the complexity of what's going on around me.) Char immediately starts bitching about getting shrimp juice in her socks. She's just really starting to irritate me. Some of these hothouse flowers could really use a leg in India, you know?

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Amazing Race

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