Amazing Race
I Don't Kiss, I Make Out!

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Miss Alli: C- | Grade It Now!
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Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Go

Bransens finish the Detour.

The Gaghans start the mud run. Carissa and Billy actually throw stuff in the air as Dad takes off, so it's not like the family doesn't know how to have frivolous fun. Bill keeps the truck moving fast, and of course, he has substantially less weight than the Aiellos to keep from bogging down. But honestly, he doesn't have that much less than the Weavers, because he's bigger than any of them, and Mama is probably bigger than the girls, so I do think there's something to his hit-the-gas technique as well. And indeed, Papa Gaghan makes it on the first try. What's awesome is that I was about to tell you that Bill is kind of cute in that Your Friend's Cute Dad kind of way, and then I realized that he is a towering six years older than I am. How old am I? One million years old. I have reached the point where I am not-inappropriately hot for people's dads. I may cry all over my Oil of Olay. Anyway, they happily grab their clue and take off, as the Aiellos look on in abject, growing horror. "Dad," Billy says in the car, "Give me a high five. You did awesome." The entire family, actually, shares a round of high fives as Bill talks about how cool the mud was.

The Schroeders are walking to the bus, and Char says that her pack is heavy. Hunter adds that maybe they could "slow down a notch." Mark flatly refuses. As the Linzes walk behind them, they realize that the Schroeders are walking and decide to make a move. For…something? Megan complains that her "heart's hurting," and the guys basically take her pack but otherwise blow her off. Which…chest pains? I mean, you might give her a minute if she's having chest pains. The Linzes run past the Schroeders to the bus, which…is worth nothing, but is nevertheless what passes for excitement in this completely suck episode. Have I mentioned the suck yet? No? Then it's definitely time. This episode sucks. Whew! Good to have that out of the way. It was kind of the complete lack of an elephant in the room, if you see my point. In any event, having completed this insignificant Breathless Trot To The Exotic Visitor Center, the Linzes and Schroeders sign up for the first bus, as do the Godlewskis. Wally and the Tonyas are next to arrive, and they grab the last spot on the first bus. These teams board the first bus. This is…acutely not fascinating.

The Aiellos are on their thirteenth attempt at the mud run. It is beginning to dawn on them that this Detour choice? Maybe not the right one. They hit on the idea of bouncing around in the car, I think to keep their weight from settling, but they get hung up again.

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Amazing Race

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