Amazing Race
I Got Electrocuted!

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Going, Going, Gondola

For some reason, there is chicka-bocka music playing as Lance and Marshall change their tire. Are we changing the tire, or are we getting funky? Because I really don't want to see either one, but if it's the latter, I'm going on strike right now. In other news, they express total befuddlement at...the wrench. And seriously, y'all, even I know what that is. There's no reason to look at the wrench like it's an obscure Chinese artifact. They do get the tire changed, although I have to wonder if any of the nuts were still on when they had driven a quarter-mile. When they finally get going, they congratulate themselves for the fact that "two fat Jewish guys" were perfectly capable of changing a tire, and only lost thirteen minutes. Or rather, Lance congratulates them and Marshall laughs at Lance, because Lance is hilarious. Lance is comedy personified. Lance is laughter, and laughter is love, people. (The preceding two sentences borrowed with permission from the upcoming cabaret show, Lance Is Love.)

Charla and Mirna finally make it to the airport, and Charla exchanges the cheek-kiss with the taxi driver who led them there so that they wouldn't have to follow a map or anything, because if they'd wanted to spend a month following directions and feeling all pressured, they would have gone on some kind of show about traveling in a hurry.

At the airport, when Charla and Mirna run into Brandon and Nicole inside, Brandon comes up, calling, "Mirna! Where in the world did you guys go?" Mirna whines to Nicole and Brandon about "what happened to you guys?", and Brandon insists that they waited for some span of time before they left again, which would be consistent with his comment in the car that the cousins "didn't catch up" and he and Nicole weren't able to wait indefinitely. "We thought you guys just ditched us; we were really upset," Mirna says expectantly, as if Brandon is going to apologize to her just because she was "upset." Whatever. I think having to live without a shower massage makes Mirna upset. ["Did anyone else's mind go where mine just went? Thought so. Pass the bleach." -- Sars]

Mirna gives a quick interview in which she says that Brandon and Nicole claim to have waited for them, although Mirna didn't see them. Well, how would she have seen them? It didn't appear that she ever got herself on the right route on her own, so how would she have seen them if, as he said, they turned and waited for a minute or two before they continued on? Unclench, Mirna. It's going to be a long race for both of us if you do the entire thing wearing that bitchface. Mirna then says that Brandon and Nicole have agreed to book tickets for all four of them, and "if they truly want to show that we can trust them, then they will." All this self-righteousness because Brandon and Nicole committed the sin of being behind Mirna when she and Charla fucked up and went the wrong direction. All. This. Self-Righteousness. Leave it to Mirna to make me sympathetic to the models with God on their side.

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Amazing Race

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