Chip, driving to the airport, grins and notes that the Twinkies have caught up to them. He notes that the girls are "kind of competitive." Meanwhile, in the Twinkie car, Kami says in her best pinchy Mean Girls voice, "I think Chip is an ass. We had a falling-out in the last leg." Chip now says, "My little nickname for the twins is the Bad Seeds. They seem like these little cute, innocent things, but they will chop your head off." I don't think they would chop your head off, as much as they would tell you that you were obligated to chop your own head off, and then they'd think you were a bad person if you said no.
Marshall and Lance arrive at the airport and note that everyone is waiting for Argentine Airlines to open. Bob and Joyce fill them in that it's all about waiting for the 10:30 flight. They leave their bags and go off in search of "an alternate route," and they wind up at a Southern Winds counter. They ask a guy whether Southern Winds (which Lance calls "South Winds," because it's hard to correctly recite an airline's three-syllable name when it's printed on a bunch of signs right in front of your face) flies to Patagonia, and the guy confirms that it does. Furthermore, it has a flight at 9:40. (Music: "[Brrrrrump!]") The brothers look stunned. In fact, Lance has his little hand over his mouth like he's an eight-year-old girl who just heard somebody say "sex." They ask the guy to find out whether there are seats available.
Brandon and Nicole and Charla and Mirna visit the Southern Winds counter as well, but when they run into Lance, he tells them that the ticket agent isn't open until 5:30 AM. Mirna asks whether they're "in line for [the ticket agent]," and Lance says yes. The ticket guy tells Marshall and Lance that there are still a few seats on the 9:40 flight -- a flight the news of which Charla shares with Brandon. The ticket guy tells Lance that in order to line up, he won't want to stand right by the counter where he is now, but across the hall. At this, Mirna and Charla run across the hall to cut the brothers off before they can get there. Which would be perfectly fine, and race-like and everything, except that if you watched the CBS Insider clips, you know that Mirna threw an absolute apoplectic hissyfit -- including doing the least flattering thing any lawyer can do, ever, which is pull out the "I know everything, I'm an attorney" card, just after threatening to call security and accusing Bob of "trespassing on [her] property" -- when Bob didn't allow her bags to hold her place in a line after she had walked away. Not only that, but she called him both "disgusting" (!) and "sick" (!!) because he was "an elderly gentleman" who touched her bags (by moving them out of the way). Look, Mirna. If you want people to play by kindergarten rules to the degree where your bags can indefinitely hold your place in line, then you certainly can't pull something like this, where you cut off the person who was clearly at the desk ahead of you, just by running to the new place to stand before he can get there. Again, a situation where Mirna could legitimately do it either way, but not both. And furthermore, "sick" and "disgusting"? Over having your bags moved out of the way? You need some Advil and a very tall cocktail, you big, fluffy drama queen.
Trying to figure out whether it's worth his time to stand in line behind the bitching Mirna, Marshall asks her whether she's buying tickets for anyone else. "Are you buying for anyone else?" she snots back. He says no. One of the brothers voices over that "Mirna and Schmirna" (okay, I chortled, even though it's not funny) were in line ahead of them, which created a possible problem if they were buying for multiple teams. Just at this point, Brandon and Nicole walk over to the line. Marshall (I think) asks Brandon and Nicole whether they're with Charla and Mirna for ticket-buying. Mirna walks over and tries to insert herself into the conversation, complaining that it's "none of [their] business." "Stand in line!" she commands. "I have a right to ask him whatever I want," Marshall quite correctly says, more calmly than she deserves. He apparently recognizes, as Mirna does not, that this is not Mirnaland, where Mirna is Queen and gets to wave her Mirna-Wand and straighten her Mirna-Crown and tell everyone what to do. Mirna wears her bitchface and her crossed arms some more as Marshall continues to see whether Brandon and Nicole will just tell him what's going on. "If you're working together with [Mirna and Schmirna], that's fine," he says. Nicole calmly explains that Charla and Mirna are standing in the Southern Winds line, while she and Brandon are in the Argentine Airlines line. Mirna butts in again (God, SHUT UP), all, "Nikki, why do you have to explain it to him? It's none of his business." (Yeah, and speaking of NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS...) As Marshall walks away, he says to no one, "I hate her so much, I can't even begin to explain it to you." He vows to get even. I'm surprised to find myself in this position, but I feel Marshall at that particular moment, because she is quite insufferable indeed.