1:44 PM. Ron and Chris. Christina, it turns out, is mighty happy about heading to Japan, because she spent some time there and learned at least some getting-around Japanese that she hopes will be useful. Ron's slightly less considered position on Japan: "Land of sushi." Christina asks him if he'd like to head for the travel agency first, and he says he would. Ron repeats, for the millionth time, that he needs to change the dickhead behaviors that he displays toward his daughter, like, back it up, Hernia Joe. Put some muscle behind the mouth and maybe I'll start to take you seriously. Until then, you are Lucy, your daughter is Charlie Brown, and the football is not acting like a jerk. Get it?
Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport. Yeah, baby. Nick and Don get out here, while Ron and Chris are dropping in on a travel agent who is conveniently next to the prominently placed Nokia store. Chris asks about getting to Osaka as early as possible, and clarifies that the agency has access to all the airlines. I do see some progress in the fact that Ron at least lets her talk sometimes. It's a little crazy for that to feel like progress, but there you go.
2:38 PM. Nate and Jen rip their clue, but not before Nate leans over and gives her a little smooch. They're definitely trying to get along better; I'll give them that. To her credit, Jen interviews that they always, always say they're going to argue less, so at this point, the challenge is to...well, put the muscle behind the mouth and actually do what they always say they're going to do. They get a cab to the airport, and he voices over -- once again -- that it's incredibly painful for them to keep not finishing first. In the cab, he tells her about fantasizing that they were running toward the finish line, and if there was anybody in front of him, he'd throw his bag at their legs. I'm sorry, but I did find that a little bit funny. If you can laugh at yourself enough to start plotting bizarre acts of physical comedy to get yourself the victory, I give a point for that. I like to think I would employ a complex system of pie-throwing, pulleys, and a combination of barrels of Kool-Aid and giant ladles. It's not enough to be an idiot; it takes a village idiot.
At the travel desk, TK says, "We want the one that gets into Osaka earliest." So...I think we have to give the guy the fact that he was very clear about what he wanted. Not a lot of ambiguity there as far as whether he wants to leave soonest or arrive earliest. The guy offers them a flight that leaves at 6:55 PM, asking them if they want it, and TK says, bordering on farce, "Only if it's the earliest possible that we can get into Japan." Yes, TK; you have been adequately clear. Meanwhile, at the airport, Nick learns of a flight that leaves at 8:30 PM. So that sounds worse than 6:55 PM, right? TK tells Rachel, trying to be reassuring but actually seeming a bit nervous, that he thinks they're fine with this "good flight." At the travel agency, Ron and Chris have found the 8:30 flight -- apparently on Air India -- on the internet, and they think that one is best. Nate and Jen get to the airport and also sign on for the 8:30 flight. Ron and Chris bicker a little about the difference between "nonstop" and "direct" flights, and Chris finally tells him -- apparently in Chinese -- to leave her alone.