Amazing Race
I Just Hope He Doesn't Croak On Us

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Flowers And Robots

Jen is lost. "How did this happen-uh?" she Flos. Elsewhere, Christina gets some directions, and Nick gets enough information to get him started. Back in her taxi, Chris ruefully remarks that she thinks in this case, it's better to know how to drive than to know how to speak Japanese. And as Nick starts off -- no kidding -- it's the "Turning Japanese" riff on the soundtrack. Come on, now. Let's not become the Survivor music department, with the gongs and whatnot. Adorably, Nick tries to attend to his passengers in every way he can, even trying to adjust the temperature so they're comfortable. Keepin' people happy!

Back at the station, Ron shares a little snack with Don. And then he yells at Don for chewing it incorrectly. Just kidding.

Jen gets more directions, and she's within sight of the post office now, but it turns out that's a very, very different thing from being where you need to be. Christina, too, can see it but not figure out how to get to it. Nick finally gets pointed in the right direction, and he, too, is now mostly struggling with how to get from where he is to where he's going when all the streets are one-way. Man, I thought Minneapolis was bad for this. Driving ensues, and seriously, you guys, I don't know how to recap driving, and even if I did, I wouldn't do it today, because YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TIRED I AM. Jen shrieks with happiness when she finally finds the post office, which is (1) as happy as I've ever seen a cab driver about anything; and (2) as happy as I've ever seen anyone about the post office. She gets her clue. Christina finishes and gets her clue. They're both so grateful that I have a feeling this task was high ranking on the scale of unpleasantness and stress. Nick gets his clue as well, so they're all now faced with the task of making it back to the station where their partners are waiting.

Essentially, the sequence is repeated with people trying to find the station, just like they were trying to find the post office. Driving, hair-pulling, direction-asking, confused attempts at sign-reading. In the end, nothing really changes, because Jen is the first to get back. Nate is, understandably, glad to see her. At least right now. She is -- kind of adorably, I'm sorry -- really excited about being in first place, for one thing. The clue, now that she can open it, says that they are to take a taxi (which they mercifully don't have to drive) to the Kita-Mido Temple, where they'll find another clue. Nate and Jen take off; Ron and Don wait patiently. In the cab, Nate congratulates Jen on a job well done and kisses her, but she can barely wait to free up her mouth so she can tell him that "nobody here speaks English." I wonder how many people where she comes from speak Japanese. Juuuust a question! Jen keeps trying to force her driver to turn around so she can make little running motions to convey what a hurry they're in. Seriously, I don't get why people do this. The cab driver wants to get you there in a hurry -- have you ever been in a taxi? They drive like their hair is on fire most of the time, because the sooner you get out, the sooner they pick somebody else up. They have nothing to gain from dawdling, in my experience, and if you're going to dawdle, you're not going to stop them with your Speedy Gonzales arm-pumping motions. Her driver ignores her, as Nate comments that perhaps they will actually come in first in this leg! So now you know they won't.

Christina returns to her relieved dad, leaving only Don to sweat it out. Nick? Still lost. He's also wearing the hat sideways now, and I'm convinced that actually makes you dumber. Nick comments that landing a plane is easier than this, which totally sounds like something they baited him to say, like, "Our husbands are professional athletes." Don comments back at the station that Nick's the only one on the course, as far as he knows. "This could really cost us," says Don's disembodied voice, which seems to step in to sound concerns in moments where actual Don seems very relaxed. I wonder if "this could really cost us" was actually a reference to getting yelled at by the family when they came home with tattoos on their arms.

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Amazing Race

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