Amazing Race
I Know Phil, Little Ol' Gorgeous Thing!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 1 USERS: B+
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Buoy Oh Buoy

Finally, Kandice figures out that what they're supposed to do is not row to the pit stop, but row back to the boat they were on before. Dustin explains in an interview that it took a while, but they eventually sorted this out. Meanwhile, Tom...I don't know. Tom has been having trouble with the boat, so he's now gotten out of it, and he's dragging their boat through the water, following the edge of the cliff. I kind of...do not understand why you wouldn't just get in the boat and figure out how to row it, considering that it's not going to be that much harder than walking and dragging the boat. They stop on a beach and start yelling for help, and I don't know what that's about. Maybe they think the junk will come and pick them up? Fellas, I am not optimistic about that happening.

Welcome, Lyn and Karlyn, you are team number six. They're quite pleased with that result.

Dustin and Kandice row toward their boat. Tom swims and drags their boat. It's all very inspirational and pointless, in a sense, like...I get it that if you concluded that was the only thing you could do, it would be admirable, but...why would you conclude that? Once Dustin and Kandice make it into the junk, they are still arguing, because Dustin is still unhappy about the fact that their clue is all ripped up, and part of it seems to be missing. Kandice tells us that she always winds up being blamed when something bad happens, and Dustin looks out the window and starts crying. This is new for them, the melting down.

Tom and Terry get to their junk. "You're amazing, honey," Terry says. Eh. On the BQ boat, Dustin is crying, and before long, they have a hug and make up, as you knew they would. Tom is crying, too, and Terry is telling him what a great job he did. And then they're both crying, and Terry is all, "You pulled the fricking boat!" And Tom is all, "I had to." Again, very inspirational, as long as you ignore the fact that they could have just...rowed the boat.

So now...Phil. A boat. Phil. A boat. A greeter. A boat. A man. A plan. Phil. A boat. And landing on the mat are...the BQs. Welcome, Dustin and Kandice, you are team number seven. They hug.

As the sun sets, Tom and Terry relax on their junk in their comfy chairs yet again. They hold hands. They love each other. They did great! It looks like it's a bit later (loose definition of "a bit") when they finally land on the beach with Phil. Tom and Terry, you are last. ("We know.") And you are eliminated. In an interview, Terry doesn't understand what made Tom drag the boat, but he means that in a slightly different way than I would. Terry goes on to say that this particularly horrible day speaks to "the strength of [their] relationship." Oh, good. Well. Yes. Good. I like the strength of relationships; I dislike people who get all pissy about losing their place in line because they're not paying attention. I have no real objection to these guys, but I never learned to like them, either. I'm indifferent, which seems wrong.

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Amazing Race

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