Amazing Race
I Need Hair to Be Pretty

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Slow Forward

Dave loads his fifteenth and last wheelbarrow on the truck, then collects their clue. They're in first place as Dave reads, "Take a ferry to the next Pit Stop." Phil tells us that would be the famous Cheena Vala fishing nets, which I've never heard of but which look pretty familiar. Picture docks with giant fishing nets looming over the water on long booms, and you get the idea. Phil warns, "The last team to check in here may be eliminated." That probably won't be Other Rachel and Dave, who get in their cab and are on their way. Vanessa and Ralph also finish and get their clue in second place. Despite Vanessa's suspicions, the subtitles tell us that Brendon and Rachel are also done, so they're headed to the Pit Stop in third place.

While riding to the ferry, Other Rachel expresses her hope that there's a boat leaving every few minutes, so as to keep all three teams from getting on the same one. They're soon dropped off, and they run up the pier to start what Rachel calls the "hurry up and wait" game." Team Penultimate and Team Big Brother's cabs are closing in. Dave actually offers to bribe the captain to go now, so they get ready to cast off. As Team Big Brother pulls up, the boat pulls away, and the second-and third-place teams are left on the shore watching it go. I don't know if any money actually changed hands there, and I don't actually care. Who situates a potential bunching right before the Pit Stop like this in the first place?

Bopper and Mark are hurrying to the Fast Forward, hoping for the lifeline that will save them. Art and JJ are still loading ginger, as Art bitches, "This is fricking work. It's not artsy-craftsy dance day." JJ interviews that after four or five boxes they were regretting the choice, but it was too late to switch. And in any case, who wants to go mess around with elephant shit when you're already as sweaty as these two are? That'll stick to every inch of you. Bopper and Mark rush their driver along through traffic. "Smart and steady," JJ says encouragingly. "Dear Lord, can we do any more slower than this?" he adds, less encouragingly.

After the ads, we come back to them hoping the elephant task is taking a lot longer. "Want to pass the time and I'll be Dave and you be Rachel?" JJ suggests. Whereupon JJ starts angrily yelling at Art that he's a weak idiot who needs to shut up. Art should insist on being Dave next time.

The team being mimicked has reached the docks where the nets loom over the water, and they jump happily into the mat. Phil asks them what they'd like, and after finding out they want first place, that's what he gives them. I think he would have anyway, though. They've also won ten thousand dollars each, which is pretty generous, even given the amount of work this leg required. This makes their sixth win of the race, "and we need one more to tie the record," Other Rachel says, without mentioning Meghan and Cheyne from TAR14. Dave boldly adds that the final leg will be their eighth victory, and they'll not only win the million, "but we'll also attain the most victories for the race." Well, as long as they're managing their expectations.

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Amazing Race

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