Amazing Race
I Need Hair to Be Pretty

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Slow Forward

Vanessa and Ralph are the third team to reach Temple, and they decide to skip the Fast Forward. Since the previous teams left, some guys who are wearing tiger masks and have tiger faces painted on their bulbous torsos are dancing around for some reason. Because of how that's perfectly normal. Team Penultimate takes off to the mat shop, and Art and JJ show up. They're surprised to see another Fast Forward in this race, but they know that neither they nor Other Rachel and Dave can do it, so it's pretty much moot for them. At least for now.

Speaking of the latter team, they're currently stopped for fuel at a gas station. Other Rachel is staying cheerful, but Dave looks like a caged animal waiting in the back seat. "Hopefully everybody's having difficulty with transportation on this one," he says once they're back on the road.

Brendon and Rachel reach the second temple, where the two priests wait for them on the mat. And yes, there's still the small shrine, and the items in front of them are a variety of sharp objects and a printed page, which reads as follows: "It is a custom in India to express gratitude for good fortune. Those who are willing to express their gratitude by sacrificing their beauty are given blessings in proportion to their sacrifice." If that were actually true, Rachel would only get spotted a five-minute head start. But the page goes on, "To win the Fast Forward, each of you must have your head shaved." Now, as you may remember, when The Amazing Race rips off a previous season, it's called a "Switchback" so it sounds more deliberate.

Phil uses that term with a straight face as we flash back to what Phil calls "one of the most unforgettable Fast Forwards in Amazing Race history." He's got a point there; quick, name another one! You may remember Uchenna and Joyce undergoing this challenge during TAR7, even though Uchenna was already bald at the time so it was really just Joyce, and then Phil reminds us that they eventually won that season. Rachel just stares down at the cutting implements like it's her own grave as Brendon tells the camera that it's a no-brainer for him. "I've done it a million times, I'm a swimmer." He did it on Big Brother, too, and this time he doesn't even have to follow it up with a chum bath while handcuffed to someone he hates. But Rachel whines that she doesn't wanna. "I paid five hundred dollars for extensions," she says tearfully. "It would be so sad." Tragic, really. But is there any reason she can't just hold onto the extensions and splice them back on when the stubble comes in? I really don't know how extensions work. Obviously.

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Amazing Race

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