Amazing Race
I Need Hair to Be Pretty

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Slow Forward

Bopper and Mark get to the temple, where their Speed Bump sign is waiting -- next to the dancing people disguised as tigers. The clue reads, "Paint the tiger on the belly of a Pulikali Tiger Dancer and prepare them for the dance!" Well, that explains why they're here, at least. But have they really been dancing here since Vanessa and Ralph left here hours ago? Phil stands in front of the jingling dancers as he explains the Speed Bump. Upon closer examination, the torso of one of the tiger dancers is painted plain white, and Bopper and Mark's job is to paint a tiger's face there. When it's good enough, the head priest will hand them their next clue, just like he did with the other teams. Does anyone else find it odd that the dancers have both tiger masks on and paintings of tigers on their torsos? It's like those cheap-ass Halloween costumes of the seventies and eighties where the front of the costume had a picture of what the costume was. Which never made sense to me even then. Bopper and Mark head over to the waiting dancers and assess the situation. Bopper allows that he's painted a lot of creek rocks with his daughter, so he "had no problem with it, other than it being on a man's belly." Just pretend it's a creek rock.

At the Pachyderm Detour, Other Rachel and Dave show up and pick an elephant, after Other Rachel points out to Dave that they probably want a small one. Vanessa and Ralph are right behind them. Other Rachel is enjoying he experience (loud music and all), but Dave snaps at her to "Watch. Pay attention." Ralph points out to Vanessa how she's going to have to climb up on top of the elephant. Apparently, like the blonde twins from last season whose names I don't even remember, she's a big elephant and monkey fan, which makes this her favorite task ever. "All right, buddy, I'm going to ride you," Other Rachel says to her elephant. Soon she and Vanessa are up on top of their respective beasts trying to rope the headdress on. Brendon and Rachel show up as well, so this could end up being close.

Art and JJ get to the "processing center," where they find areas of big, raw, chunky ginger roots laid out in the sun to dry, and the crates they'll need to fill with them. They decide to start the tasks by painting the stenciling onto the lids, and Art says he wishes they could have used the Fast Forward. "Yeah, no one else has the balls to do it," JJ spits. Great, Art, thanks for getting him started. "So we thought we were playing with some people who had half a brain, but no, they are the laziest group of people I've ever met," JJ carries on. How is it lazy to do all of these exhausting tasks, exactly? He only wonders if Team Kentucky has half a brain, "Because if they do, they're gonna be in first." Indeed, Bopper and Mark would have to have only half a brain to think the Fast Forward would still be available to the third of three eligible teams, but I don't think that's what JJ means.

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Amazing Race

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