Amazing Race

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Down Under Blunders

Amanda and Kris get to the other Detour option, and watch as a guy does a demo, spitting paint onto his hand so it'll leave a hand-shaped clean spot on the slate rock set into the ground. They watch and then dash off to give it a try themselves. This looks way easier than the other thing. And, given how many of the other teams ruined their shirts carrying art supplies back and forth in them, rather less messy. If you can get past the idea of spitting paint on your hand, that is.

Ron complains about how hard this is on his knees, but they're almost done. They're still speaking in Mandarin, even though everyone else is gone by now. At the other Detour, Amanda's spewing paint, but she's kind of dribbling it out of her mouth instead of doing the proper Vaudeville spit-take to get the proper spread of paint. I don't know what the problem is; spit-takes are fun, as long as you're not the one who's going to have to clean up after it.

Back at the other Detour, Ron and Christina get the okay for their mosaic. Kris is still trying to get Amanda to spit the right way, but she's just drooling in color, so he takes over. Ron protests the idea of dancing on top of their mosaic and ruining all their hard work. Whatever, dude. Amanda's getting the hang of the spitting, but Ron and Christina have finished Sprit World, so it's off to the Home of the Magpies for them. But first, they have to deal with the issue of all of Ron's loose crap that he's got scattered all over the ground for some reason, and doesn't seem to have noticed until now, when it's time to go. Frustrated, Christina starts scooping it all up for him. "Goodness, daddy, we have a fricking market here!" Hee. Amanda and Kris get the okay on their other Detour, and they're off in last place. But just barely, because Christina is trying to run with a double armful of Ron's random belongings while he frets about where his hat is. They look like a couple of confused refugees. Kris and Amanda are on their way, feeling pretty good about how quickly they got both the Detours done. Good for them, but it would have been better if they hadn't had to do both Detours in the first place.

Zev and Justin are the first to reach the Central Football Club, the Home of the Magpies. They run out to the clue box in the middle of the field. "Time for a rude awakening," Justin reads, indicating some kind of pun we don't get yet. Not that we're missing much.

Cut to a pair of hands holding a copy of the Periodic Table of elements, with a couple of the boxes highlighted in red and yellow, respectively. Phil says this will "challenge their memory of high school chemistry." Or, more likely, leave them stranded here in the Outback until it's beachfront. Phil adds, as a couple of PAs in kangaroo costumes hop past him, "But they're going to have to do it dressed as kangaroos." Well, sure, that's not any more humiliating than anything else that happens in high school. As the kangaroo re-racers hop through Broken Hill, they'll notice that there are a lot of streets named after elements, like Boron St., Radium St., and Zinc St. On the periodic table, Hg #80 and Bi #83 are marked in yellow and red. That would be mercury and bismuth (I admit that I only knew the first one), which are the only two streets named after elements that cross each other. So it makes sense that they'll have to find their way to that intersection. The clue box is waiting inside the doorway of what looks like an abandoned hotel. But first, Zev and Justin have to proceed to the locker room under the grandstands to get changed. They soon find the costumes under their names on the wall and start climbing into them.

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Amazing Race

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