Amazing Race
I Think This Monkey Likes Me!

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Babes In Thailand

BJ and Tyler are in Darwin. "So what do you think, I should do no pants, or gay pants?" BJ asks. As if any gay person would endorse the look of BJ in those pants. They go in and are immediately loud and obnoxious, with BJ shouting "People of Darwin!" in what looks to be a club or a bar or something where people are just trying to relax. It's this, this assumption that you can stroll in and insistently make yourself the center of attention, and you're so awesome that everyone will thank you for interrupting their previously meaningless lives...it's that quality that irks me about these guys. People start giving them money, which can happen when you're creating a spectacle and people kind of want you to go away. Outside, they beg for some more. One woman starts chanting, "Take it off, take it off," so BJ takes off his shirt, at which point she starts chanting, "Put it on, put it on." Well, he deserved that one. In fact, he deserved more than that one. On the way back to the airport, they congratulate themselves for getting so much money.

Darwin Airport. Eric and Jeremy get tickets. They don't hesitate to tell BJ and Tyler about the flight, but the flight everybody else is on is "completely full." Everyone else boards the flight. BJ is self-aware enough to mention that he and Tyler have wasted a preposterous amount of time dicking around. "It looks like today, the nice guys finish last," Tyler says, devoid of irony as usual.

Commercials. As usual, the team everyone voted for as the Awesome Team Of The Week came in last. Boo!

When we return from commercials, BJ and Tyler are still trying to get a flight. Their almost incomprehensible string of luck continues unabated as seats on a previously full flight become available, going via Perth and arriving at 10:45 PM, 15 minutes before everyone else. Oh, yes. Really. So by fucking up, they're gaining an advantage. On the plane, Tyler attributes their good luck to how much "soul" and "heart" they have, which is how you know he's not going to get less annoying any time soon.

The Amazing Map shows us that the teams are all on their way to Thailand, although they both have to take really, really annoying routes by heading way down to the bottom of Australia before heading back to Bangkok. Phil reminds us about the bus terminal they have to find when they get to Bangkok. And then we are in Bangkok, and it is night, and the first flight is arriving. The flight, that is, carrying the first three teams. Their flight is landing 45 minutes early. I've never been so happy to see Eric and Jeremy do well, that's for sure. Nobody knows where BJ and Tyler are; Joseph hopes they're begging for clothes in Darwin. Eric and Jeremy get in a cab for the terminal, followed by Ray and Yolanda, then MoJo. Joseph thinks their driver is "shady." Good instinct he's having, there.

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Amazing Race

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