Dustin and Kandice (PBS: 0; never met 'em). Yeah, I know. You, like me, feel like you just were watching them five minutes ago. I feel you. Kandice says the teams this time are "out for blood." Dustin supposes it's like "racing against your teachers," since these people have all done the race before. SO HAVE YOU, dummy. I'm so unhappy they were cast. So very, very unhappy. To me, because of how recently they were on and how very, very much camera time they had from the very first episode, this is just a waste of a spot. They haven't grown or changed, they don't want or need redemption, I don't feel like I could learn any more about them unless they let me sit in on their dental work, I don't see any appeal in their blandly arrogant Everyone Underestimates Me Boo Hoo It's So Hard To Be Born Beautiful personalities, and watching their scenes in this show is like watching tapes of their scenes in TAR10. I do not approve.
Joe and Bill (PBS: +8) are life partners. And Joe has snazzy new Hair Of A Certain Age, which I do not dislike at all. ["Seriously. Well done, Joe." -- Joe R] He sort of looks like Uncle Clooney. We get the obligatory shot of Guido the dog (PBS: +12), who is their namesake. I have to tell you, if you've never experienced these men other than as snazzy villains, you are missing out, because they are delightful. And I have to say that, or they'll tell you about the time Bill got me snookered on white wine and I wound up making perhaps the biggest dink out of myself that one can make without being arrested, which involved being informed later that I had done some ass-smacking I did not even remember. And Bill didn't torture me or make fun of me (to my face) or anything. I just feel that you should know that this history exists, because I do not want to receive email later that tells me that you have discerned that I personally like Bill and Joe, because: whatever. I personally like Bill and Joe. I also have a really funny story involving Bill, Esquire Rob, and the whispered words "the king has arrived," but I'll save that for later in the season, for those of you who haven't heard it.