Amazing Race
I Told You Less Martinis And More Cardio

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When Guido Met Mirna

Teri and Ian have made it into third place, owing to the disappearance of JVJ and Charla and Mirna.

Rob and Amber bail on the searching, determined not to "spend three hours" looking for that button, so they head over to the horse task. They go over and "help" as the horse is lassoed and brought down, and then Rob cuts the hooves. Amber gives the mane and tail a trim. It's hard to tell from the footage of them doing the Detour -- and, I will tell you right now, from the footage of everyone else doing the Detour -- what the hell is challenging or interesting about this, because they show almost none of it. Oswald and Danny hit the clue box and immediately want to do the horse. "We chose to do Wrangle because I've always wanted a career in beauty," Oswald deadpans. He figures that cutting a horse's nails and hair is a pretty good start. Oswald already has a career in beauty, as far as I'm concerned, in the sense that on a show like this, just not being an asshole is beautiful. They wind up starting the task with the horse just about as Rob and Amber are finishing. Those newlyweds really are pretty quick with a task, however likable they may or may not be. The clue tells them to head to the pit stop, so that's Phil's cue to explain that the pit stop is a lookout that's up a "nearby hill" that they have to climb on foot. I think that by "nearby hill," he means "small mountain," based on how tired everybody is going to get in this next little bit here. Rob and Amber take off running.

Team Guido is on the road to Cotapaxi.

Danny and Oswald, looking suave as all hell in their borrowed cowboy hats, clip mane and tail on their horse. They let the horse go when its cut and manicure are done, and then they head for the pit stop. As they leave, Teri and Ian are pulling in, and Teri speculates that maybe she and Ian are ahead. "We're the first team to arrive," she says in the way she thinks Phil would, and Ian laughs. It's nice to see that they're already having more fun together than they used to. "That would be a miracle of God," Ian says of a first-place finish. And then he leans forward, looks up through the windshield, and says, "Are you listening?" Heh.

Rob and Amber get to the pit stop. Phil tells Rob to smile, because they're team number one. They're panting, but Phil tells them they've won a trip to Canada for some skiing and spa treatments and so forth. They high-five. Because, you know, they needed that trip. They've been saving their pennies for a road trip to Akron, and this will be way better.

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Amazing Race

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