Amazing Race
I Told You Less Martinis And More Cardio

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When Guido Met Mirna

Jill and John Vito are trying to keep hope alive. Kevin and Drew's tire is now completely off, and they're driving on the rim, as the camera guy hangs his equipment out the window to catch the full effect. It's not totally clear, but I think maybe because of the ruts, that wheel isn't actually hitting the ground; they're mostly on the other three wheels. It does have a certain appearance that makes Kevin and Drew look like the slapsticky... what was it? Gang that couldn't shoot straight? Yes.

David and Mary complete the Detour. So do Charla and Mirna. As Kevin and Drew continue bumping along on their hobbled wheel, Drew remarks that "it doesn't pay to fix it now," because they can get there just as fast on a flat. That is, unless the car collapses and dumps them out onto the dirt road, which would slow them down a bit. David and Mary and Charla and Mirna get the pit stop clue. "Eye on the prize, eye on the prize," Jill is chanting in her car. Kevin and Drew limp along. "I think this is going to be something on horseback, dude, this is right up your alley," Kevin says, simultaneously encouragingly and ironically.

Welcome, Charla and Mirna, you are team number eight. And David and Mary, you are team number nine. David takes the opportunity to stargaze a little more, saying that he's always been a big fan of Charla and Mirna, so this is a thrill for him. The teams share a few kind words, but it's weirdly cold, because none of them have much social warmth, to be honest. That's a lot of chilly people trying to find a place to defrost.

So now, we have Jill and John Vito and Kevin and Drew. Driving. Driving. Driving. And now, somebody is getting to the Hacienda. Who is it? It's... Kevin and Drew. They take the horse Detour. We cut to Jill, who says she's "never been so happy in [her] life" as she is to see the sign to the Hacienda. Pang! Pang! Before you know it, Kevin and Drew are arriving as team number ten. Jill and John Vito park, and I can't imagine they didn't count the SUVs and realize exactly where they stand at this point, but they gamely go and get the Detour clue. They take the horses. As they work on the horse, the sad, sad voiceover starts. JV: "As soon as Phil said 'go,' and we ran off that starting line, we just felt like a team. And having Jill by my side the whole way felt fantastic. It just felt right, it felt great to be back." And then they are coming up to the mat. It's like they know, but I think they convinced themselves that maybe other people got lost, too. Maybe other people went to the wrong entrance, and they had a half-hour jump after all, right? "You better have good news for us," Jill says. But Phil has no good news. They're the last team to arrive. And they're eliminated. He turns and looks over his shoulder at this bright green Ecuadorian valley, and he says, "How is that possible?" They stand awkwardly for a minute, and she says, "This is not how we wanted to come back." As he talks about how badly they wanted to win, she wraps her arms around his waist, and he puts one around her shoulder. He talks game -- "We didn't think anybody could surpass us," and she talks other things -- "And considering we're broken up and everything, we got along so great. We had so much fun." She looks up at him to see what he thinks of this. He nods.

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Amazing Race

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