Amazing Race
I Told You Less Martinis And More Cardio

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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When Guido Met Mirna

Now, the teams march along some undisclosed pathway toward, presumably, Phil. Phil gives the "brains, brawn, and teamwork" speech, which hasn't changed in eleven seasons, I don't think. And then, the teams are all in cantaloupe formation, and Phil is welcoming them back. Phil tells them to look around at all the "fierce competitors." Fierce like David and Mary! Fierce like Danielle! Phil also talks of friends and "enemies" (I'm not sure any of these people are exactly enemies, Phil), and he says that eight of the pit stops will be elimination points. When he says the word, they'll run to grab their backpacks and then jump into spoon-fed cars. This will be the easiest beginning of a race that Drew and Kevin and Team Guido have ever experienced.

Ready? "Good luck... travel safe... go!" The All-Stars blow by Phil. First to their bags are Jill and John Vito. First to yell at her partner is Mirna, who's already bugging Charla to stop being such a slowpoke and get longer legs. They all read the clue, which tells them to fly to Quito, Ecuador. I'm sort of surprised somebody -- probably Mirna -- didn't comment on the fact that the producers were nice enough to tell them how to give up in Spanish in case they decided to surrender halfway through the leg. While everybody else is reading, Jill and John Vito, like a couple of corkers, are on their way, running at full speed toward the cars, and they're quickly joined by some other teams. Kevin is telling Drew to hurry up, but Drew is behind Charla, and looking like he's hurting already. Drew says he's doing his best, and he looks to be running really gingerly. The first team out of the parking lot turns out to be Oswald and Danny. Danny tells us that he has a big advantage in Miami, because he's from here, and it's not like he doesn't take himself to the airport from time to time. Oswald says everyone will follow them, and indeed, Jill is telling John Vito to "follow Ozzy and Danny," because she knows they'll know where they're going. Third out are Rob and Amber. Then Guido, then the BQs, then Uchenna and Joyce. And we are officially... off.

Credits. Guido still likes evil. Clink! [BOMP.]

We zoom back to the highway, where Danny and Oswald are in the lead, and Danny is commenting that he's surprised to find himself so out of breath. "I told you," says Oswald from the back seat, "less martinis and more cardio." Hey, change it to margaritas, and you have my life philosophy since January. Behind them are Jill and John Vito, and Jill is -- of course -- eagerly peering over the seat with a grin, happy as ever to be in attack mode again. John Vito comments on how good it is to be back, reaches his hand over the back of his seat, and says, "Good job, babe." "Baby, good job," she says, and they sort of over-the-shoulder-five. Jill interviews that they "really loved each other," and they still have "that caring for each other," and they hope it works well for them. Me too.

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Amazing Race

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