Amazing Race
I Wasn't Even Going To Touch You Until You Slammed My Head Backwards!

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Don't Bite on the Beethoven

First team to arrive at the palace clue box? Tian and Jaree. Heh. They grab the clue, which is this week's Detour. Phil explains that this week, you have to choose between Mozart and Beethoven. (Pause, by the way, and shed a little tear for the way that all the teams seem to pronounce "Mozart" as "Moe's Art." Sigh.) Nifty string-heavy peppy music -- which is actually based on Mozart because the music guys on this show rock so hard they need roadies -- plays in the background as we learn that in Mozart, the team has to carry a string bass (heavy!) six miles to the house where Mozart wrote The Marriage of Figaro. (Called, logically, "Figarohaus," because whatever else you can say about German, it is sensible.) Phil promises that the house is easy to find and well-known, but basses are big, and carrying them is a pain, so you'd better take a deep breath before you go. Unsurprisingly, a riff on the Fifth Symphony carries us into the explanation of Beethoven, in which you carry a portfolio of sheet music (light!) eleven miles to where Beethoven wrote...something famous called the SomethingSomethingSomething. Phil tells us that while carrying sheet music isn't hard, Beethoven had several houses, and this one is rather obscure, so it might not be easy to find.

Jaree initially wants to take the sheet music (no surprise there), but Tian wants them at least to lift the bass and see how heavy it is. They discover that with two of them, it isn't all that bad, so they choose the bass and take off. Monica and Sheree are right behind them, and choose the bass as well. Next are ClownJon and Al, and they choose the bass, too. And because it's the Figaro house, they of course have to give you a rousing "Figaro, Figaro, Figaro!" Ugh. Just when they were growing on me. Yuck, mugging. Oh, and also "Figaro" in this case is not the "Figaro" in "Figaro, Figaro, Figaro." And I really need to stop typing "Figaro" for at least a few paragraphs, because I have Figaro fatigue. Man, I did it again.

In a development that might wind up being important, Monica and Sheree catch up to Tian and Jaree and the four women agree to work on the task together. "It was all about girl power," Sheree explains in an interview. The four of them take off, carrying their string basses through the streets of Vienna. Hee. This show is so cool. It appears that you don't actually have to walk the bass the whole way there, because we do see them get on a train.

Back at the palace, Chuck and Millie and Chip and Reichen are arriving. When they all get there, the three guys all wind up going for the clue box at the same time and actually all pulling on the clue, like, calm down already, WaxyFace PushyPants. Both teams choose the basses, with Chuck just strapping the thing on his back and Millie apparently not feeling any obligation to participate.

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Amazing Race




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