Amazing Race
I Wasn't Even Going To Touch You Until You Slammed My Head Backwards!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
Don't Bite on the Beethoven

At the Fast Forward Ballroom, Josh and DadSteve have arrived. They put on formal coats and elastic bowties. Heh. Someone needs to hit me, because Josh looks sort of cute and pathetic to me in this get-up. Among other things, this room full of people dancing is just cool to watch with all the dresses and suits and such. There's a good reason people do this sort of thing: it's gorgeous. Josh -- looking like nothing so much as your daughter's nervous prom date -- picks up a tray of glasses, while behind him, DadSteve drops a tray before he ever really has it. Oops. Hee. "Careful, Pops!" Josh calls. Josh's first foray out onto the floor, however, ends similarly, with the champagne glasses tipping like bowling pins. DadSteve comes up with a method that basically involves taking eeny-weeny steps, one at a time, across the floor, on the theory that the couples aren't likely to actually dance directly into you, which is probably true, so if you're not moving, they'll just avoid you. I cannot improve on the description offered by forum poster katesus7, who called this Fast Forward "Frogger with champagne." Hee. DadSteve finishes the trip across the floor, and then he calls back to Josh to advise him about doing it really slowly and not rushing. (Insert incredibly tacky joke here about whether DadSteve has ever given Josh that advice in any other context. And then go hide your head in shame, you tacky person, you.) Josh inches across the floor, pausing as necessary to avoid walking into a waltzing couple, and he makes it. They receive the Fast Forward. Woo! (Ahem.) Josh does this "YEEAH! YEEAH!" thing that I found very comedic. Okay, I laughed out loud. Twice now. Man, I hate when there are disturbances in The Force. (Believe me, even if you don't know what I mean, Josh does.) Phil tells us that, having won the Fast Forward, Josh and DadSteve get to trundle their bundles to the next pit stop, which is at the Seeschloss Orth. And yes, even if you take the crackers out of your mouth, it's still called the Seeschloss Orth. Unsurprisingly, it's a castle, as are most pit stops these days. Gone are the days of "jungle camp" and "oasis campground," never to be seen again, I suppose. Josh and DadSteve grab a cab.

Jon and Kelly have lucked out and located a nice lady who has apparently walked them to at least somewhere where they can ask about Beethoven. As they talk to people at the tourist info counter, Kelly is forced to admit sheepishly that "Jon was right" that finding the house isn't as easy as she was thinking. He looks over her shoulder into the camera. "Double-ding," he says. It doesn't entirely make sense, but I still thought it was funny.

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Amazing Race




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