Amazing Race
I Wasn't Even Going To Touch You Until You Slammed My Head Backwards!

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Don't Bite on the Beethoven

The Alliance Of Teams With Someone Whose Name Ends In "Ree" has found its way to the Figarohaus. If you will indulge my horrible insensitivity, I will tell you that I giggled when I saw a sign go by that said "Stephansplatz." I was completely surprised there wasn't a picture of a guy named Stephan getting hit by a bus. Anyway, the ladies are just a bit ahead of ClownJon and Al, who are feeling pretty positive about being in third place. When the clowns catch up with the alliance, they try to get some info about where the house is, but Monica and Sheree give them a bum steer. Understandable, as I've said before -- you don't owe other teams directions. Smart, in this case? Maybe not. But not unethical. Monica and Sheree and Tian and Jaree are the first teams to get into the Mozart house and show their basses to Wig Man behind the desk. I guess he's supposed to be Mozart. He gives them their next clue, which tells them to find the route marker at the base of Donauturm. Phil explains that this is an 1150-foot spire overlooking the city, and when they get there, they'll get their next clue. Wow, something very high? I wonder what they'll do there. The suspense is killing me.

Millie -- with her Beast of Burden behind her -- makes her way to the Mozart house. When she gets inside and confirms the location, she yells "YES!" in a voice so loud and screechy that it makes the lady behind the hospitality desk jump and throw her hands in the air. No, really. Way to continue your loud and pushy trek through Europe, there, Millie.

The Clowns are frustrated to find that the house is back where they started looking and that they apparently missed it. When they get to the house, Al and Millie do a cute little greeting through the door, and when they get inside, she greets them warmly. Well, I suppose loud people have to stick together. Chip and Reichen arrive next. As they enter, Chip encounters Millie in the doorway, and very deferentially says, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" because he's got the big bass with him. She? Says nothing. I'm starting to the get the impression that she's a real snot. Inside, the Chipsters read the clue.

Kelly wonders how many stops it is on the bus before they get to the place they need. "Four or five," Jon unhappily confirms. Kelly voices over that she just didn't think it would be that hard, because "everybody's heard of Beethoven." Well, everybody's heard of Prince, too, but that doesn't mean that those of us in his hometown can take you to the store where he bought his first pair of purple underwear. Silly Kelly.

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Amazing Race

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