Amazing Race
I Wasn't Even Going To Touch You Until You Slammed My Head Backwards!

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Miss Alli: A | Grade It Now!
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Don't Bite on the Beethoven

Monica and Sheree and Al and ClownJon are having a grand old time on the horses, and Al is wondering whether they could throw carrots in front of the horse to make it go faster. The horse is like, "Yeah, try it, greasepaint boy, and watch yourself hit the pavement so hard your floppy shoes will come out your nose."

Back at the fiacre stand, Chip and Reichen (already frustrated by not having grabbed the tag like they were supposed to) and Millie and Chuck (already frustrated by her asthma attack) are especially tense as they wait for the next group of carriages. The Pectoral College hatches what I think sounds like the most dumb-ass plan since Blake tried to bribe a ticket agent with a wooden rhino: Chip and Reichen will run and try to get two tags while David and Jeff "distract" other teams. The hell? How are you going to distract them? Get them talking about politics in such detail that they'll forget about the horses? Seduce Millie? What could this possibly entail? These guys are goofy. Watching this particular alliance try to put a single coherent thought together makes me think of two words: Iwo. Jima.

Commercials. Peachy is love.

What appears to be a three-foot-tall camera guy is like, "Look! Fiacre stand! Look! Chip and Reichen's knees! Look look!" Reichen explains in an interview that they were all waiting, because the next set of three fiacres were going to come for the next three teams. Look! Horse feet! Look look! The clue apparently says that they can run for the fiacres as soon as they see them coming. "BUMP! BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP!" says the music. At 8:57 AM, the next fiacre fleet begins clip-clopping its way toward the teams. Everybody is off. Pow! As they approach the line of three carriages, Millie and Chip both head for the farthest one (dummies), realize that one's taken, and turn back for the one in the middle of the line. Reichen's body actually blocks the shot at the moment when they first collide, but it looks to me like Millie is in Chip's way as he turns around, so Chip's about to run into her anyway, but Millie turns back toward the other carriage and puts out her arm across Chip's body as if she's going to block him from getting by her. They jostle as they both run toward the carriage, but you can clearly see Millie still trying to hold her arm across Chip's stomach as he tries to pass her. And then, after he's gone by, she grabs onto his pack. That part is easier to see than the bit with the shoving earlier: you can see her hands reaching out to grab onto the pack straps, and then you can see her put her hand up and under his pack and try to shove him away from the carriage door. Everybody who watched this scene, it seems, saw it differently, but it looks to me like she's the one who made it into a shoving thing, by trying to block him with her body as he turned back, and she continued it as a shoving match as they went toward the clue. He turned back toward the other fiacre before she did, he was ahead of her on the way to the pass -- it just seems to me that he had position, so if she got shoved, it's because she tried to hold him up. What's more, Millie and Chuck get a pass on another one of the carriages anyway, so the whole thing is sort of ridiculous.

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Amazing Race

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