Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | 1249 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Auckland and Uncomfortable

Nick and Starr retrieve their gnome while Team Divorced is still searching. Nick and his gnome gloat in the back seat of their car while Starr drives to Kiwi 360º. Finally, up on the roof, Christy has spotted a gnome, dangling by a rope from "a tree in the park that we looked at four thousand times." Wait just a minute -- whose New Zealand wish list includes lynching?

Brooke gets her match, and a hug and kiss from her warrior. "We're definitely still in the game," one of them says as they drive to the City Life Hotel. Which tells me they were probably half-expecting Phil to come and find them at any moment.

Ty and Aja have commenced their gnome spotting, as Kelly and Christy secure theirs. And Team Long Distance spots their gnome dangling from a little faux hot-air balloon on the roof of a skyscraper a couple of blocks away.

The Fast-Forward chopper comes in for a landing on the aptly named Summerhill, and Ken and Tina hop out and run across the grass to the mat, with her carrying the gnome. The greeter tells them in a local accent, "Hi, I'm Phil's dad." Aww! Ken and Tina are pleased to meet him; almost as pleased as they are to hear that they're team number one. Tina's shriek of joy actually frightens the sheep. They hand over the gnome, and Phil says they've won a trip to Rio di Janeiro during Carnival. The good news: they're three for four. The bad news: I suspect they're going to get really tired of traveling if this keeps up.

Aja and Ty grab their gnome, and the Belles finally arrive at the rooftop to start hunting. It could be the next day for them, for all I know.

And Terence and Sarah are the first to arrive at Kiwi 360º, which officially puts them in second place. They dash excitedly for the clue box, but Terence grabs the envelope away from Sarah and says, "Babe, you can't tear the envelopes. You're very bad at it." She just puts her hands on her hips and peers at him like, "Oh, you scamp." The giant kiwi behind them looms over the scene like a big green UFO, and stubbornly fails to fall on Terence.

Here's Phil, to tell us about the Detour options: "A Matter of Time" and "A Matter of Skill." Well, the pros and cons are pretty well stated right there in the names, aren't they? But since they're not all that descriptive, Phil clarifies further. In "A Matter of Time," the teams have to drive to a kiwi orchard, climb into bins full of kiwis, and stomp them with their bare feet until they've produced twelve quarts of juice. Whereupon each player will have to chug a glass of the stuff and hope the bits that get stuck between their teeth are just fruit pulp. "Matter of Skill," on the other hand, sends the teams to something called "Blokart Heaven." There they will have to assemble a pair of Blokarts (pronounced "blow carts"), which are basically sail-powered wagons that they will then have to drive around a small circular track three times. Terence wants to go for the kiwis, even though Sarah stresses about the required volume from the back seat of their car. Close behind them, Toni and Dallas elect the same option. Terence and Sarah arrive first, and they strip to shorts and jump into the big bucket. Clearly this is going to be more difficult than they expected; in addition to having to contend with Sarah's high-pitched squealing, the bottom of the bin appears to be lined with sharp rocks. Presumably this is to help with the kiwi-crushing, but it's a little painful on the feet. Can't be worse than my driveway. Looking at the weak trickle coming out of the spout at the bottom, Sarah worries about how long this is going to take. "Just keep it up," Terence insists. Toni and Dallas arrive, and Terence blusters to them that it's the easiest thing in the world before asking Sarah to reach down into the kiwi pulp and make sure their spout isn't clogged. Because his hands are broken, or something. As Toni and Dallas get to work, Terence is glad to see that their own flow rate has increased. "This is cutting up my feet pretty bad," Dallas complains quietly.

Amazing Race

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