Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Auckland and Uncomfortable

The Belles find a gnome on a nearby rooftop, and the Frat Boys decide to crush kiwis. "We have big feet," says Dan. Terence and Sarah have reached a point where their kiwi juice has become a gusher, but Toni and Dallas are becoming discouraged. "This looked like more fun when Lucy and Ethel did it," Toni says, Well, I've also seen it done less fun, so count your blessings.

Meanwhile, back in Auckland (which is still at least three hours away, as far as I can tell), the Belles get their hands on a gnome. Brooke reads the clue, and Marisa cracks up at the sound of "Te Puke." Well, I guess with no other teams around for them to interact with, they have to make their own fun. And they're still behind Ty and Aja, who appear to be lost en route to Kiwi 360º. I wish they'd hurry up and get there, because I'm getting tired of having to insert that little º sign all the time.

Meanwhile, at the kiwis, Terence and Sarah are finishing up, while Toni and Dallas's flow has slowed to a few pathetic green drips. Terence and Sarah both drink their foot-juice, and I have to give credit: those are not small glasses. They're a pint or larger. But Terence and Sarah are soon off to the Pit Stop, with healthy quantities of ectoplasmic slime and toejam sloshing around in their bellies.

For the second time, Phil tells us that the Pit Stop is Summerhill, a thousand-acre sheep farm. But what may happen to the last team to check in there? Oh, right; they may be eliminated. I keep forgetting.

Toni and Dallas are about ready to give up on the kiwi stomping, and they climb out to head for the Blokarts instead. "Oh, it is so much fun," Toni lies to the arriving Frat Boys.

Nick and Starr arrive at the Detour, and as Starr drives them to the orchard, Nick enthuses, "I'm excited to stamp the shit out of a bunch of fruit!" Not. Saying. Anything. Kelly and Christy arrive in their wake and choose the same option, on the theory that it will be "absolutely refreshing." Moments later, the Siblings and the Frat Boys are experiencing the joys of sharp kiwi stomping-bin rocks beneath their naked soles.

Terence and Sarah appear to have arrived at Summerhill fairly quickly. They run to the mat, the flock dividing in front of them, and get to meet Phil's dad. "Terence and Sarah?" Phil says, "Yes Phil? And Phil's dad?" Terence responds. They're happy, if not especially surprised, to hear that they're team number two. "Moving up," Sarah says, despite having just kissed Terence. Okay, maybe I'm being too hard on him. They might not have done so well this leg had Terence not insisted on sticking with the kiwi-stomping. That almost makes up for the fact that he screwed up on the way to the marina and probably cost them the Fast Forward in the first place. He still has some making up to do on the hair, though.

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Amazing Race

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