Amazing Race

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Auckland and Uncomfortable

Marisa and Brooke interview about the hidden reserves of strength and resolve they've discovered in themselves. "I wonder if they like blondes in New Zealand," Marisa wonders. Brooke is pretty sure they already have them there. I would also like to give them credit for discovering hidden reserves of dippy remarks that make good episode titles.

In a solo interview, Aja talks about what it's like to be spending every minute with Ty, as opposed to their usual long-distance arrangement. But why tell when you can show? In the cab, she informs him, "I swear, if you say 'bite us in the butt' one more time, I'm going to jump off a cliff." So it's going well, then.

In a joint interview with Nick, Starr, and Starr's boobs, Starr says they're not taking anything personally in terms of anything that's going on with the other teams. "We've been able to grow as adults and form this adult relationship," she adds. Stop talking now please! Thank you.

There's another solo interview, this one with Dan, in which he insists that what we might be seeing as "frustration" is in fact merely "desire." "I often forget that I have an equal opportunity partner," he says. In his own solo interview, Andrew has noticed that too: "This isn't The Dan Show. This is Andrew and Dan on The Amazing Race." And thank God for that. Recapping the latter is bad enough. In the cab, Dan rattles off a barrage of facts about their next destination, New Zealand. "I know Phil's from there...I know they're into kiwis..." So it's a small barrage. More like a salvo, really. A very small salvo.

Meanwhile, Terence and Sarah realize the cab they're catching up to on the road contains another team. Pretty impressive how they were able to put that together, considering it's the middle of the night and the other team's camera light is glowing through the taxi windows like a supernova. And so Terence and Sarah pass Toni and Dallas. Their shiny new "Currently in 2nd Place" chyron underscores their happy smooch.

Finally, Kelly and Christy leave in last place, at 1:20 a.m. Which means that at the end of the last leg, Mark and Bill would have had to reach the Pit Stop at 12:50 p.m. or earlier in order to survive their thirty-minute time penalty, which would have put them in second place, which probably wouldn't have happened even if Mark had nailed his wrestling routine on the first try. So obviously that penalty was more of a factor than I had estimated. Sorry, guys. Really, it's not the same without you. Kelly interviews that they like all the other teams on the race. Except for Nick and Starr, obviously. So at least they like a lot more of the teams than most viewers do.

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Amazing Race

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