Amazing Race
I Wonder If This Is Going To Make My Fingers Pickle

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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More-WHAT-ee-us?

Funny music inspired by elves having an emergency starts to play as Rob and Kimberly continue to struggle with their car, which is stuck on the road and blocking traffic. So that's happening at the same time that Dustin and Kandice are talking to either a police officer or the bus driver they hit, giving their information. ("That's V-A-N M-U-N-S-T-E-R.") Ultimately, they get on their way, and Dustin informs us that she's never even had a speeding ticket until right now. Well, she picked a good time, huh? Rob and Kimberly's car trouble is also not over, as they push their car off the road with the help of a couple of locals, who may also want to drive somewhere and therefore need to move the car out of the way. The *wins drive by and see all this happening, and they offer a friendly but noncommittal "That sucks for Rob and Kim." Karlyn, on the other hand, says, "I'm not sympathetic to their plight right now." There's a surprise. Friendly and helpful as she always is? Hard to believe. Dave and Mary note the situation as well, as does Rob, who saw everyone pass him.

Tyler and James are still driving.

Dustin and Kandice get to the post office first and retrieve their clue. It announces a Detour in which the choices are Salt and Sea, the latter of which Phil claims has something to do with Mauritius's "old-time link to pirates." I think you will agree that said connection is quite tenuous. In Salt, you go and hunt through a giant pile of salt for a shaker that contains a red bean. I mean, a clue. In Sea, you walk to a dock, choose a boat and a driver, and head for a small island where they'll use a treasure map to find a rack of sails. (Arrr!) They'll then take one and sail back. The BQs decide to go with the Sea, partly because you get a captain to manage the boat. They don't think endlessly searching salt piles sounds good. At least not without a margarita glass. (I realize you've all heard plenty of margarita jokes, but when there's an enormous pile of salt, you have to forgive me.)

Rob and Kimberly switch to a new car, and Phil explains about the mechanical breakdowns and the rule and the lack of a time credit for this unlucky situation.

The BQs get in a boat and head off in search of the Sea Detour. Rob and Kim are still accompanied by elf music as they look in vain for the post office. "It's hard to enjoy the scenery when you're, like, stressed out," he observes. "Yeah, but this isn't a vacay," Kim snots. "This is a competition." Thus, no looking at scenery, asshole! I'm always shocked how many people who don't suck use the word "vacay," because it sounds to me like something that people who suck would say, and almost none of the people I know who say it suck.

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Amazing Race

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