Amazing Race
I Wonder If This Is Going To Make My Fingers Pickle

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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More-WHAT-ee-us?

12:37 AM. Dave and Mary. Mary reads the clue like this: "Fly to the island of Maw-RAH-shee-us." (Well, it's really "flahh to the island," but you get my point.) Phil tells us that she is in fact talking about Mauritius, 4600 miles away. It's its own little country in the Indian Ocean, and when they get there, teams will find a little marked car that will contain their next clue. As they run to the car, Mary tells Dave she doesn't know where Mauritius is. And frankly, while I knew it existed, I don't think I could have told you where it was, either, so it's not like I'm judging. I'm not telling you how I did on a recent impromptu geography quiz one of my friends sprung on me, because even after years of this show, I have less geographical sense than a tennis ball. A confused tennis ball. As they get in the car, Mary voices over that she's made all these great friends, and she says, "In a heartbeat, I would sacrifice this race for the friends I've made." I don't know... what that means, really. Does it mean if she could only race or make the friends, she'd keep the friends (sane), or does it mean she would happily give up winning so that one of her friends could win (insane)? I don't think we know. Mary also announces that her alliance is now "the Six Pack," because it was too depressing to be called "the Back Pack," so they think they'll feel better if they're named after beer. "We're a team," Mary says. Yeah, a beer team. As they head into the airport, Dave tells her they need to find "booketing." As much as I try to avoid being all, "That hick is so adorable I could just put him in my pocket!", I have to say: "booketing"? Hee hee. Mary has kind of mastered the pronunciation by the time she gets to the counter, and she asks for the fastest tickets. She learns that the fastest way there is to go via London. London! Yikes. This will get them to Mauritius at 6:50 AM the next day. They get their tickets.

3:40 AM. Dustin and Kandice. Dustin reads, "Fly to the island of Morr-i-TEE-us." They run to their car. In an interview, Dustin says that everybody's out for themselves, so it's sort of goofy to say you have an alliance. Of course... it's not goofy if you have an alliance, you know? She says she thinks all the teams will do what's best for them, including hers.

3:53 AM. Pointies. "Morr-IT-ee-us," says Rob. As they put their luggage in the back, he's like, "Morr-IT-ee-us? Never heard of it!" For some reason, I found that hysterically funny, and if I ever went on this show, I would totally use that line constantly. ("Moscow is in Rus-SEE-a? Never heard of it!" "Head to Mon-TREEL? Never heard of it!") Kimberly is giving directions in the car, and she tells us that she's decided it's "time for [her] to take control of the team." I bet Rob was excited to hear that. For the moment, taking control of the team consists of saying, "Make a left." She says in an interview that if she's pushy -- I mean, "assertive" -- enough, Rob will take her word for things and trust her. Rob coos over his kitten, saying that she's thriving under pressure. He's so proud; it's like she's his very own daughter that he makes out with sometimes.

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Amazing Race

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