Amazing Race
I Wonder If This Is Going To Make My Fingers Pickle

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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More-WHAT-ee-us?

Dustin and Kandice walk into the airport, and Kandice confidently announces that they are trying to get to "Morr-IT-ee-us." I like that she's checked the pronunciation. It's not "Morr-i-TEE-us," it's "Morr-IT-ee-us." Dustin, you dummy. Furthermore, you are a better person than I am if you don't envision Alicia Silverstone saying "Haiti-ans" every time you hear Kandice chirp this particular piece of information. They learn about the flight leaving at 8:00 AM. Rob and Kimberly arrive at the airport next. As the BQs discuss their tickets, Kandice is told that their flight to Mauritius connects through London. "Ask him what country that's in," Dustin says. Now, as amusing as it would be if this meant that she doesn't know what country London is in, I think it means she didn't really hear what he said, or didn't connect it with London, England, because she isn't thinking they're going anywhere like that. When they learn that it's London, England, Kandice leans back into the little hole in the Plexiglas and says to the guy, "That's weird." "I don't think this guy understands what we're saying," Dustin says loudly. So she goes over to straighten it out. "Sir," she says, holding up a world atlas and pointing, "We're right here right now? So you're saying we're going to fly up here and then all the way here?" It's true that it's a highly circuitous route, but I don't like the atlas business she's doing, because the airline ticketing guy probably knows where London is and where Mauritius is. Her skepticism doesn't bother me, but her methods are kind of patronizing. The guy clarifies that he is in fact getting them there as quickly as possible, and Dustin walks away, quite clearly convinced that the guy is a moron. "Let's keep looking, D," Kandice says, less snotty but equally convinced. "That doesn't make any sense at all," Dustin declares. I wonder how many direct flights she thinks there are from Kuwait to Mauritius. Not everything is New York-L.A., lady.

Rob and Kimberly and Dave and Mary are both kicking around the airport, and they spot each other. Rob says, "Dave," and Mary declares, "David, we're not going to help them." Rob asks Dave whether they have their tickets, and Dave says, "Yeah, we got our tickets." His failure to say more makes his intent pretty clear. Rob and Kimberly leave. "Whatever," Rob says. "They're not going to help." Dave walks over to Mary and says, "Did you hear him get mad at me?" Wow, I hope she did, because I sure didn't. Mary cackles at the idea that Rob was mad. As Rob and Kimberly go up the escalator, he tells Kimberly that Dave and Mary are "lame," and that he doesn't like dealing with them, or with the *lyns, because "they segregate themselves." Meanwhile, Dave says that Rob and Kim don't talk to them unless they're "in dire need of help." I don't think they're "in dire need" at the moment, really. "We want 'em out, so we're not going to help them," Mary says. It makes me nuts how it seems like all these people are bearing grudges against each other for totally no reason. "We don't like them because they didn't like us first!" I feel like if everyone sat down and said, "I don't have a problem with you. Do you have a problem with me?" everyone would be getting along in five minutes. They should put me in charge of world peace.

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Amazing Race

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