Amazing Race
If I Were In Town, I Would Ask For Your Number

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Miss Alli: B | 2 USERS: A+
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Knight Of The Sausages

Previously: Teams spread out by hours and hours, until Mirna and Charla had to wait for "the weather" to allow the other teams to catch up. A boat ride to Zanzibar had Charla horking up her guts over the rail, while Mirna just waved a flag for herself. Team Guido and Teri and Ian wound up getting stuck in a race for last place, in which Teri and Ian emerged victorious; that is to say, last. And they were eliminated, and they went home, and frankly, it was pretty annoying.

Credits. Oh, world. You're so big. And I really thank this show for letting me see so much of you as people run by you as quickly as possible while yelling.

Commercials. I don't care how many times Keckler says it's like apocalypse porn. I'm not watching Jericho. I saw the pilot, and it was like the Hallmark Hall of the Nuclear Holocaust. Actually, this had better be it for recapping the commercials, because this damn episode is going to be long enough as it is.

We are in Zanzibar, where this great big castle was the pit stop. Can Team Guido come back from almost a whole day behind? Are Charla and Mirna really Too Hot To Handle? And if they aren't, can we all still use "too hot" as an excuse not to handle them?

4:20 AM. Charla and Mirna. The clue sends them 5000 miles to Warsaw, Poland. Phil says that when they land, they'll head for Czapski Palace, childhood home of Frederic Chopin, where a dude dressed up like Chopin will be playing the piano right by their next clue. I like the implication that Chopin is sort of the Mickey Mouse of Poland, like you have to go get your picture taken with him and he's not allowed to talk out of character. Phil also exposits that because getting to Warsaw is difficult (as we will see), everyone has guaranteed tickets on a flight that will arrive at 11:25 AM the next day. Of course, you can do better than that if you can find better tickets. Mirna interviews that she and Charla love coming in first, but it's harder, because now they're seen as a threat. I love the idea that Mirna thinks she "flies under the radar." I guess the radar doesn't speak Pidgin English. They get into a cab and decide to wait for Danny and Oswald, who are next and are also probably the only people who would cab-share with them without carrying garlic and a cross.

4:28 AM. Danny and Oswald. Oswald says that they're "not stupid," and they're competing, and they don't believe in alliances. Except with fabulousness. That's the best alliance of all. When they run into Charla and Mirna, the girls ask if Danny and Oswald want to share the taxi, and the guys agree. For the moment, they've decided to head for their hotel.

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Amazing Race

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