Amazing Race
If I Were In Town, I Would Ask For Your Number

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | 2 USERS: A+
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Knight Of The Sausages

The BQs feel good about following the cab, while Joe and Bill are trying to figure out where they can stop and ask directions. Mirna is working with a cab driver, I guess, and he stops, so she starts yelling at him out the window, showing him the clue and hectoring him for being too slow. Two drivers seem to be going, so she starts honking her horn and insisting that she only wants one. The BQs are glad they got away first, and Team Guido is glad there's a gas station where they can stop for directions. Eric and Pink are asking for directions on the street from... some poor lady. Mirna's cab drivers stop again, and she yells about how she needs one taxi, and she's in such a hurry. Team Guido gets their directions. We are reaching the cut-cut-cut portion of the show, so I hope you're hanging on to the handrails. Eric and Pink find a taxi to follow them, but Mirna's driver wants "one hundred." Without even asking what kind of money he's talking about, she starts yelling angrily about how she doesn't have a hundred dollars. In the Team Guido car, Joe talks about how important it is to beat somebody by at least 30 minutes. "The one thing we know is that Mirna can't drive worth a damn," Joe says. Ha! Meanwhile, Mirna also can't make friends with service people worth a damn, as she is now hollering at the driver, "You think I'm made of money? I'm a young girl! I don't have a hundred dollars!" Oh my God, SHUT UP about being a "young girl"! God! "You think I'm a millionaire?" she continues angrily. "Listen!" she orders, but the driver walks away from her. It's really hard to understand why what she's doing isn't working. Why wouldn't this man want to help her? He's so mean and Polish! Now Mirna decides to try either fake or real tears, and I'm not sure which is more pathetic in this situation. "Have a little bit of sympathy as a human being!" she yells. "We are here at two in the morning! You can show me, my friend!" Mirna's driver hates her, and basically waves his arm and tells her to go fuck herself. For once, somebody did. "Just show me please, my friend, I'm begging you!" She never says "please" until it's too late, you know? He walks off.

But of course, when we return from the commercials, he's still there, because commercials undo everything that appears to be happening before they come on. "I'm crying, and he's laughing!" Mirna says, shocked. I'd certainly be laughing. She calls him back to the car and starts negotiating the price. They finally agree, and he agrees to lead her there. "God, help me get out of this country," Mirna snots, and the entirety of Poland has the same exact prayer, interestingly enough.

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Amazing Race

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