Amazing Race
If They're Screwing The Helmet To My Head, It Can't Be Good

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Barbarians at Hell's Gate

Commercials. If they don't stop showing Rupert, I just don't know what I'll do.

Chip and Kim are on their way to Okere Falls. The Twinkies are on their way to Hell's Gate. Chip wonders whether not Yielding the Twinkies will turn out to be his "biggest mistake in life." His biggest mistake in life? Golly. That would make you a lucky guy, Chip.

Linda and Karen arrive at the falls, sure that everyone else has already been and they are indeed in last place. As they take in the water, Linda asks the guide how hard the ride will be. "It's difficult," the guy says curtly. "You want to do the other one?" Linda asks tentatively. Karen isn't sure. Linda leaves it to Karen, and Karen goes ahead and gets into the wetsuit. So that's good, sort of. Linda asks whether she'll drown, and then she says, "If they're screwing the helmet to my head, it can't be good." Indeed, the helmets are impressive -- they remind me of the ones that they wear in boys' lacrosse. (You don't watch boys' lacrosse? Pfft. You grew up in the wrong part of the country.) They hop into the water and start riding with their guides.

Brandon and Nicole? Oh, yeah. They're still searching in the mud. Brandon wonders whether they're "doing it right." Heh. Like maybe there's some other way to search in the mud for an envelope. Nicole doesn't see how else you'd do it. "How long have we been here?" she asks. "Too long," Brandon says. "We should have done the whitewater thing, you know?" she says. They keep looking.

Linda and Karen shoot the rapids, as it were. Linda voices over that as she got the hang of it, she started to think that the rapids might actually be fun. Karen, on the other hand, offers that she was working very hard and was out of breath, and she wasn't sure she could make it all the way down the course. As they approach the big falls, Karen starts to fret that she's not sure she can do it. Linda tells her they're doing it. The guide tells them to look at where they'll go over. "There's your taaaaahh-get!" he tells them. Linda hops in and goes over. She lives. Karen again tells her guide she's not sure she can do it. She calls herself "too afraid." The guide tells her to just hold on tight, and she says she'll try. He blows the whistle, and she goes in. She goes over the falls, and emerges unscathed. "The kids are gonna be so proud of you!" Linda screams. And at that moment, even though she's being loud, I kind of loved her. Despite the fact that I think their kids are probably often mortified, as anyone would be. They get out and read the clue for Matapara Farms. In the SUV, Karen still has a little bit of a sledger's high, talking all about how cool it was and what a good time she had.

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Amazing Race

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