Amazing Race
If They're Screwing The Helmet To My Head, It Can't Be Good

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Barbarians at Hell's Gate

Karen somehow winds up having to do the Roadblock again, so she gets prepared for the zorb ride. She rolls. "Go, Kareeeen!" Linda shrieks. Linda points and says how much fun it looks like, which...yeah. Just wondering why she didn't do it, if it looks like such a good time. Karen works her way to the finish, and they head for the finish line, Linda cackling the entire time. They are very surprised to be team number two, which is, as Linda points out, the highest they've ever finished. Karen points out, in case you need reminding, that they "never give up."

Brandon and Nicole? Yep. Still in mud hell. "This is so frustrating," Brandon says.

Chip and Kim approach the falls for the Clean Detour. "I hope we're still in it," Chip mutters.

KamiKarli hopes out loud that other people are having bad luck just as they are.

Brandon and Nicole. Mud. Brandon: "This is just crazy." I agree. "I'm gettin' really frustrated," he offers. He voices over that by this time, they had realized that they made "a horrendous mistake" in choosing their Detour option. "Come ON!" he growls, which is about as angry at the universe as Brandon ever gets. Edge of your seat!

Commercials. You really haven't lived until you've seen Trash expound on these mildly pornographic Burger King commercials. They disturb her very deeply.

Mud pit. Brandon and Nicole. They keep looking. He falls down and lands in the mud on his ass. (M. Giant: "Dang!") Brandon: "Dang!" He voices over that he had to just stop and realize that he needed to turn the Detour over to God. "Do you want to stop and pray?" he asks Nicole. "Just pray out loud," she says, still looking. Heh. She's like, "Pray loudly enough for both of us, baby; I'm up to my elbows in mud." I thought that was really funny. "Lord, help us find this, please," he moans, falling smack into the "Dear God, please make me win" that he's been so careful to avoid in the past. I guess mud does things to a person. As he continues to pray, the Happy Jesus Music comes up on the soundtrack thusly: "Mmmmmmaaaaah." There is more about the Lord, and trusting, and he says he believes the Lord will lead him right to the clue. (The Lord: "I don't do free throws, awards shows, or reality television. Learn it, live it, love it.") But through the wonder of prayer (and editing), Brandon soon finds the clue he seeks. "Oh, thank God," Nicole says, and then adds, "Literally." Heh. Brandon also offers big ups to the big guy on his way out of the mud pit. They hose off, and come up with the clue for Matapara Farms. They take off in their SUV.

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Amazing Race

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