Amazing Race
If They're Screwing The Helmet To My Head, It Can't Be Good

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Barbarians at Hell's Gate

The Twinkies are just arriving at Hell's Gate, and as they're arriving, Brandon and Nicole spot them. "The twins may very well just stick their hands in one time and find it," Brandon comments. "That's why we've got to hurry up and get to this farm."

Hell's Gate. Twinkies, searching through the mud. "Will it be obvious, do you think?" one of them asks. "Yeah," says the other.

Chip and Kim pull in at the falls. The Twinkies keep mud-searching. "Why are we making this so hard?" one of them asks. "We make everything too hard," says the other. Chip and Kim pull on their wetsuits. As Chip puts on his giant flippers, he becomes ponderous (an effect that giant flippers often have), saying, "I hope I'm not doing it all for naught. But then again, in this race, you never give up." They hop in the water.

Brandon and Nicole reach Matapara Farms. "Who's ready for a wild ride?" Nicole reads at the Roadblock. She turns to Brandon. "You do it!" she says, all chipper. He's like, "Um, okay." As they run to the starting line, he says, "Pump up a zorb? Baby, I hate this stuff." Heh. ["Like all he does at home is pump up zorbs, so it's a busman's holiday. That cracked me up." -- Sars] She says, "Yeah, but I want a million dollars." Hey, can't argue with that. I mean, you can, but you'd need literature on subjugation and learned helplessness and that sort of thing. No, actually, I didn't think that line was that big of a deal. I think they tease back and forth quite a bit -- as witnessed in the airport -- and if you don't know they're teasing, they look much worse than they actually are. Brandon pumps up the zorb and hops inside. As a chuckling Nicole watches, he gets down the hill and over the finish line. And if you don't get a birthing vibe when you see these people slide out of the zorbs down the tube thing with all the water around them, then you're not paying attention. So anyway, Brandon is born. Or, you know, born again.

They run up to the pit stop. Welcome, Brandon and Nicole, you are team number three. They're quite relieved.

At Hell's Gate, the Twinkies hunt through the mud for their clue. They must have gotten pretty lost after the Detour clue, because one of them asks, "I wonder if Chip and Kim did this." The other says, "Oh, Kim would not do this. I can just see her being like, 'Hell, no.'" Yeah, that Kim. She's quite a delicate flower.

BAM! goes Kim over the waterfall. BAM! goes Chip similarly.

And then we are back at the mud pit, where Pete and Repeat are still searching. In perhaps my favorite shot of the episode, one of them is all bent over with her feet in the mud and her hands in the water, and...I think she's trying to shake water out of her ear, but she does it by kind of doing a full-body quiver, like a wet dog. It's just...bizarre, completely. If she's not shaking out water, she needs to have that looked at.

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Amazing Race

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