Amazing Race
If They're Screwing The Helmet To My Head, It Can't Be Good

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Barbarians at Hell's Gate

In Auckland, meanwhile, Colin and Christie are landing at 11:35 AM, as anticipated. How sick am I of looking at Colin in khaki cargo pants? Very sick. They head out of the airport and grab a marked SUV. Colin asks Christie to help navigate, and she tells him that he needs to get on Route 1 to go to Rotorua. She further urges him to hurry up, because they're going to have teams right behind them. It's good that she said that, because of Colin's penchant for needless lollygagging.

And hey, here are some teams behind them now. The Baby/Booby flight lands in Auckland at 11:55. They leave the airport in SUVs, with Chip and Brandon handling the driving.

Colin and Christie are, as they note, "on [their] way" to Rotorua, having located Route 1, or so it seems. Chip and Kim are having some navigation difficulties, as are Brandon and Nicole. Brandon and Nicole do manage to find it, though, while Chip and Kim continue to struggle.

At 12:15 PM, the Twinkies -- "Currently in 4th Place" -- land in Auckland and hop in their SUV. Five minutes behind them, the Moms' plane lands right on schedule at 12:20. Or so they would have you believe. Linda and Karen -- "Currently in Last Place" -- notice the fact that they're getting into the last SUV as they leave the airport. "We know we're bringing up the rear," says Karen as she navigates from the back seat. They look for Route 1 south, hoping to make up some of the time.

Aaaand it looks like making up some time may be possible, as Chip and Kim are still lost looking for Rotorua. Chip pops his head into a store, but the guy doesn't know what he's talking about, and is no help. Similarly lost are the Twinkies, who shockingly can't find the highway either. Linda and Karen, however, find their way to Route 1 and are off, while Chip and Kim pull into a gas station to ask for directions. (You know what is remarkable? All three times that you see a team's-eye-view of the turn onto Route 1 as they make it, the same two white cars are approaching each other from opposite directions in exactly the same way. What are the odds that all the teams would have run into the same two cars at the same time? That is downright Twilight Zone, people!) They get their directions as we watch Kami and Karli run into a little touristy spot for some help of their own. Both of these teams make their way to the highway they need. (There are those two white cars again, when Chip and Kim go by! Who is in those white cars, and why are they going back and forth up and down Route 1 south toward Rotorua?) "We are pathetic," a Twinkie remarks sadly. You know, self-awareness is a good thing, except when it's sort of depressing like that. And what's especially unfortunate is that their team's-eye-view of the turnoff doesn't have the white cars, so apparently, they fell so far behind that the white cars had stopped driving back and forth along the highway endlessly by the time they got there. Even the white car people have lives to get back to, you know.

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Amazing Race

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