Amazing Race
If You're Gonna Whine, Just Shut Up!

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Only God Can Make A Brick

Commercials. Dr. Vegas, Dr. Vegas! Dr. Vegas! Dr. Vegas, Dr. Vegas! Dr. Vegas! Dr. Vegas, Dr. Vegas! Oh, oh, Dr. Vegas! (Ooh, rock me, Dr. Vegas...)

On the train from Garia, Nicole looks miserable.

Linda and Karen find their way to the taxis, and they both ride as a bunch of locals push. No, no, no. One of you ought to get out and at least run alongside the car so they don't have to push your ass. God. Furthermore, Linda keeps yelling, "Faster, faster!" Which...you know, when people are pushing you in a car, and you're riding and doing nothing? You just cannot do that.

The Twinkies arrive at the marked taxis, and they go through the same routine -- both riding while they get pushed for free. That didn't turn out to be much of a task, I must say.

And here are Brandon and Nicole, choosing Heavy But Short.

Linda and Karen maneuver their car into the garage. Or rather, the people pushing them do. "Thank you, everybody!" Linda screeches. She so needs to stop doing that. Just so, so badly. They hop in a cab and head for the pit stop.

The Twinkies complete the Detour. They pull the pit stop clue and hop in a cab. And, in perfect unison in high-pitched little-girl voices, they say, "Oh my God, that was so sweet!" And what that actually was? Was fuckin' scary. They are a two-headed demon of some kind, I am convinced.

Colin and Christie are pulling up to the Victoria Memorial, as are Chip and Kim. Colin and Christie hop out first and run to the mat. They're a bit ahead of Chip and Kim, and they stay there, landing on the mat in first place -- again. And...Colin certainly does appear to point down at the mat like he's telling her where to stand, but...why would he do that? It's not that he's not a big enough ass, it just doesn't totally make sense to me. It made me wonder whether he was pointing at something on the mat or on the ground, but...no, it appears that he's telling her where to stand. Sigh. They are welcomed to Calcutta. They both get the little forehead mark from the greeter, and Christie gets a few flower petals on her head. They appear to have thought Brandon and Nicole would have been here first, because they are very excited to hear that they're in first place. And they have won...another vacation. To, again, exotic Mexico. And just as a reminder? They're from Texas.

As Chip and Kim come up to the mat, Chip and Colin exchange a hug of the We Are Both Gracious Because We Both Think We're Kind Of Screwing The Other Guy variety. They're very happy to be greeted as team number two.

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Amazing Race

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