Amazing Race
Amazing Race

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 538 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Weeping and whaling

The drunken cameramen are back on duty now, careening around Casablanca. As so often happens, we are treated to a shot of a colorful member of local law enforcement directing traffic. In fact, today, he gets a featured role, as Ken and Gerard ask him for directions to the mosque. He obliges. Thank you, local law enforcement! When the teams get to the mosque, they find that it is grand, indeed. As BoB+F enters, Gerard reminds everyone that there's no running in the mosque; they have to walk. There's a great shot of these six guys walking across the mosque grounds -- it's very cinematic, like they're a ragtag band of misfits on their way to break in and steal something. The Junior Exposition Hands then get a cameo when, for some reason, we are treated to a special shot of the clue box being opened and the clue removed. What bored person threw in that shot? Sheesh. When the teams pull the clue, it tells them to head for Marrakech. Phil is back to claim that this will again be 150 miles, but it seems to me like Phil just likes to say "150 miles" a lot. Just like some people think everything takes "five minutes," Phil thinks everything is "150 miles." How far is it from Nashville to Vegas, Phil? "A hundred and fifty miles." How far is it from your kitchen to your living room, Phil? "A hundred and fifty miles." He's like Rain Man, if Dustin Hoffman had spiky hair and a come-hither accent. Phil goes on to explain that after the teams get to Marrakech by train, they'll have to take a taxi to the edge of town, to a place called the Palmerie. Unsurprisingly, by the way, the Palmerie appears to contain palm trees. Now it all makes sense! BoB+F takes off for Marrakech, hoping they can get a train quickly and put some space between them and the people behind them.

"[Domp! Domp! Domp-a-domp-a-domp!]" goes the thumping conflict music as FloZach pulls up beside Teri and Ian at what appears to be a toll plaza. "Is this Teri and Ian?" Zach asks. "Yeah," Flo says. "That hat...you can't mistake him for anyone." I'm glad they put that remark in there, because I was starting to wonder if the hat was merely a trauma-induced hallucination that was mine alone. Once the teams leave the plaza, Teri and Ian start bickering about navigation yet again. "We need to get off the highway," she remarks emphatically. "I'm telling you..." he begins. "We missed another exit," she says. "Don't tell me to chill out again." "You're making a mistake by getting off the highway so fast," he counters with measured contempt. "But if you want me to, I'll do it. I'm going to follow your direction. And the outcome is your responsibility." He actually waves his finger in the air during this remark. Wow, he could not be more of an ass. It's almost impossible for me to imagine a marriage I would ever want to be in less than this one, unless it involved David Gest. Or, if I were a guy, Jennifer Lopez. Team Asshat eventually remains on the highway, because Teri knows that she will never, ever hear the end of it if he decides she was wrong about the exit, and she'd rather have them both get it wrong than have him remind her that she screwed up every five minutes. I somehow suspect that being gracious about being right is not in Ian's particular range of emotional reactions. I wonder whether, when she asked him whether they should get diesel and he said no, she told him that the outcome was his responsibility. This entire dynamic is just...creepy.

Amazing Race

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