Amazing Race
I'm A Much Better Liar Than You Are

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Weeping and whaling

Welcome, Firecop. You are team number six, which is a big relief, because that would have been an el sucko way to be eliminated. If you were chicks, I would tell you to take a bubble bath. I'm not sure what the equivalent advice is for firemen and police officers. ["'Take a bubble bath,' I'll wager." -- Sars] They look completely stunned here -- I have a feeling that that experience was scary as hell, and I don't blame them one bit.

Ah, Team Aahab. You have arrived at the café at last. Aaron takes the Roadblock. Man, Arianne is sporting some very adventurous large hair there. As we see Aaron serve up the snails (in the dark, I might add), he voices over that they were hopeful all day, and that sometimes "ignorance is bliss." Aww. (Yeah, I said "aww." Shut up.) He completes the Roadblock and gives one final "woooo!" Arianne voices over about their "very special connection" and so forth, and The Touching Music Of The Doomed And Annoying But Not Really So Much Evil tootles in the background. Aaron says he has no regrets. Dude, not even the unleaded? (Sorry. Had to.) As they approach the mat, he talks about how much he loves her, and appreciates her, and is happy she's in his life, and WOULD YOU GO LOSE ALREADY? God. Finally, they reach the mat, and they are Philiminated at last. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," they grouse, which I actually didn't mind so much, considering that I knew it was about thirty seconds from the last time I would ever have to see them, ever. In my life. Ever. Unfortunately, they top it all off with another round of the McDonald's Big Mac Hand-Slapping Boogie Shake. Does someone on this show think that's cute and original? Seriously, I learned that in about 1980. Or earlier.

Farewell, Aaron and Arianne. This really is a game of minutes, and I hope you enjoy all fifteen.

Executive producer? Jerry Bruckheimer.

Next week: Flo starts a Firecop Hunt. Derek and Drew scream at each other. Ken and Gerard blow a tire. Noooo!

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Amazing Race

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