Amazing Race
I'm A Much Better Liar Than You Are

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: A | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Weeping and whaling

5:24 AM. Jill Bon John Vito and FloZach stand on the mat together, because at the end of the last leg, they were tied. How very Romper Room. I hate ties. I hate jumping on the mat together. I hate vestiges of the HugeTinies. Anyway, Flo interviews that Jill and John Vito are great to team up with, because they're so honest. John Vito concurs that he and Jill enjoy being allied with FloZach, because it's smart for the four of them to "put [their] minds together." Well, okay, John Vito, but don't listen to Zach's mind when it starts telling you to wear one of those headbands. In other news, do you think Jill gets her mysterious powers from her lip gloss? I've rarely seen a woman attend to her make-up so closely this far into the race, although I'm guessing that if Heave were still around, they would still be working the blue eye shadow.

5:28 AM. Teri and the Hat. They exchange a little smooch on the mat, apparently in an elaborate fake-out meant to distract you from the way they're going to act for the entire remainder of the episode. Interestingly, if you actually look at that smooch closely (as I did when I accidentally paused the TiVo at an inopportune moment), you'll note that they look at each other as little as possible while it's going on. He sort of stares off to her right, past her cheek. Ian talks about how they're going to "hit the ground running," and offers other vague platitudes about perseverance. They bicker in the car about the map and the route, and it is particularly notable that he tries to guilt her at one point with a pained, "Please don't berate me." She's not berating him, it doesn't appear, but she is pointing out what she believes to be his failures, which is apparently not allowed. His pointing out her failures, of course, is completely different. Ian also remarks that they're going to "hammer down." Shout-out! They speed past the JVJ and FloZach caravan. Just as they do, John Vito draws Jill's attention to the temperature gauge on their car, which has risen to the general vicinity of the "H," putting the "TEMP" light on. As steam streams from under the hood, she pulls over. As it turns out, their radiator has died rather spectacularly, leaving a black splat mark on the road. Wow. That car didn't just die, it died in a Wile E. Coyote cartoon. As they ponder their options, Teri and the Hat and FloZach speed away from them.

Teri and the Hat yammer about navigation in their car. Behind them, Flo says evenly that she thinks Teri and the Hat have a "horrible sense of direction," and she has no interest in following them to (or in) Casablanca. Meanwhile, just as this quartet of malcontents reaches Rabat, where both teams will make a turn for Casablanca, it finally occurs to Zach that they've lost John Vito and Jill. Flo wonders where they could have gone. Cut to JVJ, sitting by the side of the road with their deceased vehicle, waiting for the vultures to arrive. John Vito notes in a voice-over that had it been Flo and Zach who had vanished, he and Jill would have at least stopped to check on them. Honestly, I'm not sure FloZach really noticed they were gone until they got to town. A tense string flourish ("BWAAP!") closes out the tense scene of a silent JVJ awaiting help.

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Amazing Race

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