Amazing Race
I'm Filthy And I Love It

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Sugar, sugar

The Choad Family is losing confidence in the guy who's leading them, because it seems like they're driving an awfully long way. A rift develops in the family as Eric and Jeremy decide that they've just gone too far, and they're going to pull into a service station and ask. BJ and Tyler just continue following their guy. When Eric and Jeremy ask the gas-station guy, he tells them that the pit stop is right up the road. About a kilometer. Meaning that they are getting the worst of all possible news, which is that they lost their nerve and stopped driving right before they were going to get there. Huh. I wonder if they're not quite as good in bed as I thought. As they get back in their car, they fret over how they could have been in first place and so forth.

Pit stop. Horns of Perseverance, the full version. If you've ever wanted to hear it, it plays all the way from when we first see the sign for the pit stop, through Tyler calling Phil "Philip," which: stupid, through when they land on the mat and learn that they are number one. They also pretend to be shocked -- shocked! -- at the news that they have won a trip to Tahiti for being the first team to get there. They try to execute a "hilarious" maneuver in which BJ jumps up on Tyler, but they flub it and sort of galumph down onto the ground, which ruins the effect just a little.

Here come Eric and Jeremy. As they run to the mat, one of them says, "Phil, do you know how cranky I am right now? I'm going to smack you, woman!" Yes, he just called Phil "woman." Could they be hotter? Phil demonstrates his disapproval as they cut to a shot of his eyebrow hopping up to the middle of his forehead. Ha! It's like they've finally figured out that Phil should do something besides explain where they are, and they're letting all the personality come from that eyebrow. Which is a pretty good idea, honestly. The idiots step on the mat and are told that they are team number two. Phil asks about their obsession with chicks, and they say they're always like that. They can't help it, Phil; they just love women.

Welcome MoJo, you are team number three. They give a happy little hop.

Fran and Barry arrive at the waterfall, followed by Lake and Michelle. Fran starts up on the ascender, but she immediately has trouble operating it. I still don't understand how those things work, really (don't email me!), but the only person I've ever seen look entirely comfortable on one was Colin, which doesn't make me think they do a good job of measuring any skill that would mean anything to me. Fran complains that she isn't getting anywhere and isn't picking up how to do it, as Barry looks at the ground.

Commercials. I really don't think toothbrushes form societies this complex.

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Amazing Race

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