Amazing Race
I'm Going To Jail

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Officer, we're not with him

When we return, Colin is inside the station, still arguing, and Christie is still trying to tell him that they don't have time to stand around arguing about it. Sam explains to Colin that he and the taxi driver are both partially right. "Now who's going to give [the driver] his rights?" Sam asks. "I've got to make my flight," Colin insists, like they're going to care. Dude, once you're getting yourself arrested, they're not really interested in making sure you're not inconvenienced. They understand that if you weren't in jail, you'd have somewhere to be. In fact, that's one of the things that makes jail work, is the way it kind of puts you out. Colin picks up his money, takes a hundred dollars, and tosses it into the air as he leaves. Sigh. We've come a long way since "impromptu diplomats." It's actually a little sad. But if the driver had yelled out, "No tip?", that would have been the funniest thing ever to happen on this show.

As they leave the station, Christie says, "Colin, wait for me." "Walk fast," he answers darkly. "Don't be mad at me," she says -- defiantly at this point, not pleadingly. Colin starts to say, "He took --" and she cuts him off. "No, he didn't," she says. "Don't make it up in your head, Colin." Ooooh, she landed on the perfect line, actually. As they walk back to the terminal, Colin voices over that he was frustrated by Christie's reaction, because whether he was right or wrong, he wanted her to back him up. Which...yeah, there's a place for that, and for not undercutting when somebody is in the middle of trying to stand up for something he thinks is important, but that? Wasn't it. When you start to take the other person's welfare into your hands -- not to mention when you're that completely wrong and that completely out of hand -- you're past expecting to turn around and see "My Asshole, Right or Wrong" on a waving flag. In a bit that seems a bit hacked-up, he says, "I want a different kind of relationship," and she answers, "That pisses me off, Colin."

Colin and Christie return to the group at the airport. Linda asks if he "got away with it," and Colin holds up two fingers. "Came that close," he says. Uh, when? Anyway, he begins to regale the group with the tale, as Linda ribs him about how disappointed she is that he didn't win the battle. Hee. Unbelievably, he attempts to blame Christie, saying that he would have won if she weren't there -- presumably telling him they didn't have time, which I guess sabotaged all his careful negotiating strategy. Not sure how that did any harm, considering how he was standing there insisting he had a flight to catch anyway. Christie cuts him off with a well-deserved, "Oh, my God, just get over it," and he's all, "I'm just telling the story, is that all right with you?" Yeah. It's not the telling, creep, it's the way you're telling it. Christie turns and walks out, not about to stand there and listen to him blame her. ["It is at this point that I would have literally, physically separated Colin's face from his skull with my hands." -- Sars] Kim voices over: "Colin is so abusive and belligerent to Christie, she is constantly living in stress." Well, we can argue about appropriate use of the word "abusive" all day, and even about in what sense Kim means it, but I think there's no remaining doubt that he is a huge jackhole who needs a few years of Remedial Social Skills if he's going to try to hang around with grownups.

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