Amazing Race
I'm Going To Jail

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Officer, we're not with him

Commercials. DEAN CAIN! Okay, I'll tell you the story of my "Super Wishes" picture. In the early days of widely-used AOL, I used to hang out in some of their chat rooms (this was before I had Real Live Internet at home, even). During the run of Lois and Clark, they had a chat with him (I KNOW!), which I went to (I KNOW!). And they had a trivia question at the end, and the five fastest people to answer won autographed pictures. Thus, I have an autographed picture of him that says, "To Linda, Super Wishes." I am not even lying. It's mostly because I can type fast, and I'm obsessive enough to remember stupid details like the name of the award that they were fighting over in some early episode or another. Because that was the question. (I KNOW!)

When we return, Kami and Karli are sitting in white chairs, waiting for Brandon and Nicole to take off ahead of them. Karli is still pissed. Kami's like, "Get over it," and Karli's like, "I'll get over it when I want to get over it," and there are the Twinkies I know. Their moment of grace couldn't last, unfortunately. Brandon and Nicole's skydiving plane takes off. On the ground, we are treated to the extended dance mix of the Twinkie pout, with extra cowbell.

In the Colin/Christie cab, Colin feels the need to point out how much he'd love to go skydiving (because he's not a sissy or anything, AT ALL), but they're taking the Off-Road option on the theory that it will be faster. They are the first to arrive at the 4x4s, hollering "very fast" at everybody all the time, which is just getting really old now, so they should quit it. The guide tells Colin to follow the flags and get to the endpoint as quickly as he can. Colin takes off. Woooo! Off-roading! Anyway, so Colin is getting his Big Stud Moment on, and you can just kind of doze off around here if you want to. You won't miss much, except his efforts to overcompensate, if you get my drift. Yeah. When I told Mirna I didn't think he had a Napoleon complex, I shouldn't have said I didn't think he was short -- I should have said I didn't think he was short like that.

As the Moms approach the Off-Road, Linda tells Karen not to worry -- "If we roll, we roll," she chirps. Heh. They get there and get in their vehicle. Meanwhile, here come Chip and Kim, realizing that the meter has ticked right past their ability to pay the driver. When he pulls up to the Detour, Chip offers the driver all the money he's got, and pretty much begs for mercy. Not really wanting to get in a fight about it, the driver apparently decides to go along. The way Chip describes it, they were about ten bucks short. That's ten bucks out of what it sounds like was about a $25 fare, so that's not just whistling "Dixie" either, as my father would say. That's seriously shorting the cabbie, and that's too bad. Chip goes on to voice over, a little inappropriately, that the cabbie went along, and Chip thinks it's because he puts out so much positive karma or whatever. Yeah. I'm sure the cabbie will enjoy eating all the food he can buy with the proceeds from your past good deeds. I love Chip, but...no.

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Amazing Race

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