Amazing Race
I'm Going To Jail

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Officer, we're not with him

Brandon and Nicole run up to the mat in second place.

Linda and Karen are being towed out. Once they're clear, Linda yells out that she wants to pass Chip and Kim, who appear to be stopped in their tracks, worrying about being passed. From the sky, the Twinkies are preparing to descend. Chip and Kim are towed from their position of stuck-itude, and now they're on their way, also.

Twinkies, jumping. "Aaaaaaaaaaah!"

Chip and Kim, tearing up the sand course. Moms, just behind them. Twinkies, falling to earth. Chip and Kim pull up to the camels first, followed by the Moms. They both read about the GPS and such, and then they head out on their beasts of burden. Just then, the Twinkies are in the process of landing, and reading about how "the last team to check in may be eliminated." One more spontaneous and in-unison "woo!" from them, and all three of these teams are on camels, headed for the pit stop.

Chip and Kim run up to the mat. Yay! They are team number three. They give Phil a little hug. I really don't like these full-contact pit stop arrivals. Phil is not your friend. Phil is The Philiminator. Stop acting like he's your brother. Or, in Mirna's case, that guy you've been stalking.

The Moms and Twinkies urge on their camels. Linda calls her camel "Mr. Camel," and he's all, "Are you mocking me with the formality?" Teams, cameling! Camels and camel guys, doing all the work! And then Linda and Karen are at the pit stop, getting down from their camels and running to the mat. So they are not in last place, and they are very grateful.

A little more in last place are the Twinkies. They walk up to the mat and are told that they're last. The good news? Non-elimination leg. The bad news? Hand over all your money. And...damn, it looks like they were thrifty, too. Those girls are carrying some cash on them. Phil asks them how they're going to get by in the desert with no money, and they call themselves "resourceful." Snerk. Oh, and "young and cute." Eh. One out of two. Well, one out of three, counting "resourceful." They announce that they really look forward to lying to people, because that's really what it's all about. Sigh. They declare that they want to be the first all-female team to win. Meh. I kind of don't want that. Although they can hardly hurt the average, which currently consists entirely of Flo.

Executive producer: Jerry Bruckheimer.

Next week: Manipulation! Begging! Colin flipping out! Someone...getting a haircut. Yeah, they're out of tasks.

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Amazing Race

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