Previously on Wil? Pill! Phil? Thrill!: The elephants got clean, but everybody else got down and dirty. Wil steered Tara into a tree, and steered her ever more completely into the oily biceps of Boston Alex. The Thailand train ride was really long. No, no, really long. Mary and Peach mastered the art of pole-boating and zoomed past Gary and Dave, who were too busy looking up limericks in their tattered copies of 10,000 Jokes, Toasts, and Stories to get their oars in gear. The Adultery Alliance faltered as Boston and Taraweasel dropped like a couple of overconfident rocks, while Mary and the Fruit snuck into the lead. Who will be eliminated tonight?
Credits. "Would! You! Take! A bath in Cra-ter Lake? Are you afraid! Of! Heights! Or want your name! In! Lights? Would! You! Run! Under a broil-ing sun!? Are you a bad...dresser?...a fox?...built like...an ox?...Then you...just! Might! Fit! Now that we think! Of! It! Amazing! [BOMP.]"
Karen Village, Thailand. This week on the Eating, Resting, and Mingling segment, we see Dave thinking really hard (maybe his shoe is untied); Tara and Alex fondling each other; Blake still desperately needing a shave; teams alternating between winter gear and summer gear; and Chris feverishly clinging to The Amazing Purse, even while socializing at the pit stop. Chris, put down the purse. Even if you're carrying it, you'll still have to figure out for yourself how to get to the next route marker using clues you'll find in sealed envelopes. So sayeth the Exposition Hands.
8:55 PM. Mary and the Fruit are first out of the gate this week, and they eagerly open the clue. It tells them to go to Chiang Mai to a temple called the Seven Spires, and provides them with $180 for the leg, which Mary carefully counts. Phil comments that they will have to find the place "with only a map to guide them." Excuse me, but "only a map"? As opposed to what, Phil? A sherpa? I mean, that would be really helpful, but very hard to fold up and put in the envelope. As they get in their SUV, a cautious Mary voices over that being in first place is great, and that she and the Fruit are trying hard not to get into the drama of the other teams and what they may or may not be doing. They're trying to run their own race, and I think there's no question that that's the smart move.
8:56 PM. Gary and Dave. As they open the clue and get going, Dave voices over that in addition to your travel skills, this game tests your ability to go for long periods of time without eating or sleeping in any way that qualifies as remotely functional, and I think that this episode probably bears that out fairly well, in fact. He also manages to sound pretty normal while providing this particular pithy insight, so that's a large relief right there.