Amazing Race
I'm In Russia, Playing With Dolls

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Drivers, divers, and dolls

BJ and Tyler are the first to have their shot at the zip line. Tyler refers to his Great Big Book Of Nutty Ideaz and finds that when you go across a zip line, you are to yell, "Banzai!" So he does. BJ follows, and I believe he yells "Moo cow!" at a cow below. I can't believe he's actually trying to be funny by yelling out something I can almost guarantee you is already old hat to a Brazilian cow. They get their clue, which tells them to fly to Moscow. Phil explains that this is a journey of about 7300 miles, and that when they get there, they'll need to find Chaika Bassein, a sports facility that used to be used for training Olympians. There, they'll find another clue. The clue for Moscow also tells them that they have to start by going to the Brotas bus station to get a bus to Sao Paulo. BJ and Tyler read this in unison, and then they head-butt each other with their helmets. I would like to point out that even when this show had actual, literal clowns on it, they managed to occasionally open clues like normal human beings. They did some clowning, even to the point where it bugged from time to time, but they didn't feel the need to do an official Bit Of Business every single time the camera was on to see them open a clue. Oh, and when BJ and Tyler head-butt, they say, "T-Tow!" Like on their shirts. In an interview, one of them says that this is their "power word," and the other says it's "the circle of the universe." That right there is a perfect example of why I find them so tiresome. If you just had a habit of saying "T-Tow!", it might be cute. But when you say it, and you put in on your shirts, and you tell us it's your official "power word," and you say some shit about how it's "the circle of the universe," now all of a sudden, it's stupid. I will close by saying that I am fairly confident that if there is a word that is the circle of the universe, I am reasonably confident that it is not "T-Tow."

Eric and Jeremy ride the zip line next. They read their clue. Honestly, as I said, this zip line is just not that exciting. I get the feeling that they were really trying to make sure there was enough wild excitement after the Giant Chair and so forth, which I support, but this totally feels like an add-on, this part. We came to love high-flying stunts during that suck-out-your-breath Detour in the very first episode ever, and this? Is just not that. It has a kind of corporate-retreat feel to it, and you never want race tasks to feel like a corporate retreat. Next up: trust falls and a rousing game of Know Your Lemon. (What do you mean, you've never played Know Your Lemon? Boy, do you not party with Quakers. ["…And the week's Sentences I Never Thought I'd Proofread Award is claimed. By Monday, no less." -- Sars])

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Amazing Race

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