Amazing Race
I'm In Russia, Playing With Dolls

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Drivers, divers, and dolls

The 10:00 AM bus leaves with Ray and Yolanda, Wanda and Desiree, Lake and Michelle, and Danielle and Dani. Meanwhile, Fran and Barry get there and learn that they are the only ones on the last bus at 10:45. They seem all upset about this, but...I mean, when you leave an hour and a half behind the closest team to you, you may not make it all up at the very first move. Yeesh. What did they expect? People are getting downright spoiled.

Commercials. Wait, Fran and Barry were the T-Mobile Play Hard team again? What the hell is wrong with this country? No wonder goddamned Kellie Pickler is still around. ["…Can we agree for you to hush?" -- Sars]

At 10:45 AM, Fran and Barry finally get on their bus, lamenting that there are no other teams with them. "It's going to be hard to catch up," he notes, but then he adds that "it's not over till it's over," which he should remember to mention to himself and his wife so they don't keep yammering on about being eliminated every single freaking week.

At the Sao Paulo airport, the lead bus arrives. Inside, the teams learn that the fastest way to Moscow is on Lufthansa via Frankfurt, and they all get tickets on the flight, which is apparently not leaving any time particularly soon, if you get my drift. The second bus arrives, and they all get on that flight as well. They will all be arriving in Moscow at 12:10 PM. As Lake and Michelle get their tickets, Lake tries to call out to one of the ticket agents, but Michelle points out that she doesn't think "senorita" is the right word to use. When Fran and Barry arrive, they get on the same flight, so there goes that hour and a half deficit. I don't mind bunching, but dudes, that's three in the first half of the show. Operating hours, show-provided transportation, and a long flight? A certain amount of this is inevitable, but why not just let them get their own transportation back to Sao Paulo? Those "three charter buses" arrangements are usually set up to work like a sort of anti-bunch, giving a bit of an advantage to the first teams to get there. Here, that advantage was gone with the very first thing they did after, so it does seem a little more pointless than usual. Anyway, Phil explains again that in Moscow, the teams will have to get to that sports complex. On the plane, Dani gets a woman to talk to her a little about where Chaika is, and learns a word meaning "go fast." The girls share this information with Eric and Jeremy, at which point Eric pulls Dani's hat off and starts messing with her hair, and seriously, dude, less pawing. She doesn't appear to paw you back, you know, and when you're pawing them both, it doesn't even seem like you're flirting; it just seems like you're grabby. The fact that they have similar names and similar hair doesn't really make it appropriate for you to treat them like they're interchangeable. Scientists now say that two women may actually have distinctive DNA giving them slightly different characteristics.

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Amazing Race

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